Read This to See if Joyce Runs Over a Cow
(also read it cuz I spent way too long writing it)
I don't know where to begin about Uzbekistan. I told you on July 28th a brief sketch of the country. I'll tell you about some things that you would see if you came to Uzbekistan so you get the context, then I'll tell you some high-lights for me. I, actually, don't like to tell these details sometimes because I find beginner travelers and/or people who don't travel to industrializing nations really over-emphasize these points often intentionally or unintentionally with a kind of superior attitude. It's just life an industrializing nation-no reason for us to be snooty about it. With that out of my system-if you were to go to Uzbekistan right now probably the first thing you would notice would be that it seems like you went back in time 50 or 60 years as far as technology goes. Almost all the cars are 1950's style and any other form of technology is about the same. You would also notice that there are often a couple cows roaming freely in the street or along the street as you ride around in the back of your 1950's taxi with your smoking in the car every 15-30 minutes taxi driver. You'd also notice the toilets are some what crude porcelain holes in the ground with no toilet paper available.(which if you're a smart traveler in the 2/3's world you'll have tissue in your purse which you must throw away in the small garbage can next to the toilet NOT in the toilet...the piping can't handle toilet paper. And if you clog up the toilet with the toilet paper the cleaning lady will surely be yelling about you, "stupid foreigner" in some language you don't understand.) Another thing you would notice would be how many of the women dress. Especially in the rural areas almost all the women wear long, airy, loose fitting dresses and the older women wear scarves around their heads (usually more in a Russian style than Arab style) However, maybe one girl out of 20 girls walking by you will be wearing a sexy tank-top and pants. These girls tend to be Russian most of the time. Most of the people in Uzbekistan are of Uzbek ethnicity which means they are Muslim, which means they are more conservative, which means they should dress accordingly. But if they are of Russian ethnicity their culture is actually quite different from pure Uzbek culture. However, I believe this is different in the capital city, Tashkent, where everyone tends to be more liberal. I'm speaking mostly from my experience in Fergana, a semi-large by Uzbek standards city, in the conservative country side.
I was just up getting some tea and because of the music I'm listening to thought of how they dance in Uzbekistan. It's really amazing. I actually tried to see if I could still remember how to dance in their style in my living room. :-) But I just couldn't remember, the dance style is so different. You could say, "All Koreans sing and all Uzbekis dance". For enjoyment in groups Koreans sing and for enjoyment Uzbekis dance. So when I was over at this Uzbeki girl's house with a bunch of other Uzbeki girls for dinner after they wanted to dance. Their native music is more Indian or Arab style and so is their dance style. It's so beautiful, artful and sexy. It's kind of similar to how a belly dancer dances if you've never seen Indian dancing. It also reminds me of Spanish dancing, too. So the Korean girls from my team and I tried to dance with them but we looked so stiff and clumsy compared to them. I actually picked it up a little after dancing awhile but as I said I can't do it now (or maybe it was the non-Arab music I was dancing to).
Now on to my personal high-lights. I also could say a lot of things about what it was like to go on a missions trip with a group of students from a different culture than my own. I was the only "white person" on my team and the only person who couldn't speak Korean. There was one other male prof. on the trip who is Korean American so in many ways we are the same culturally. That helped to have one other American on the trip but he still had an advantage over me obviously because he speaks the language and is a part of Korean culture more than me. Being the only one that was totally non-Korean was educational but hard at times. But most of the times it was fine. One thing of many things I gleaned by being with a Korean team is what God is doing in the Korean mission force. I stayed with various Korean missionaries. Their dedication to the field and to souls is really inspiring and challenging. They are doing a lot of great things, for example, I visited a dental clinic and children's hospital that offer free services to Uzbekis totally ran by Christian Koreans. (They are secretly planting churches through these organizations...even though Uzbekistan says it has freedom of religion-it doesn't really...Uzbeki Christians are highly persecuted and missionaries not allowed in the country) Did you know the second highest missionary sending nation is Korea, after the States? And perhaps per capita Korea sends the most missionaries world-wide. I really thank God that I've had the unique experience of working for God with a culture other than my own, I think it will enable me to think beyond cultural restraints more easily and it makes me a more diversified person and future missionary.
Ok, now I'm really going to talk about my personal high-lights. I think one of the things that sticks out the most in my mind is the class I taught for a week in Fergana University. I had 8 students in my class, one of them wants to become the future president of Uzbekistan (he's almost fluent in Korean and English) From the beginning it was clear to me that these students were very smart and eager to learn anything they could. Because of the economic state of Uzbekistan they just don't have the materials or access to information that we have. I felt like they knew about everything they could know about. They were thoroughly versed on politics and geography-I felt more than a lot of students I've taught. Right away we started talking about deep things freely, they delved into the discussions without hesitation. The first day we discussed relationships and they went around the classroom surveying their classmates about different opinions on relationships as one of the lesson activities. We had many interesting discussions about marriage customs and dating customs. For example, usually in Uzbekistan men marry around 20 to 23 and women marry from 17 to 22. And when you get married you live with the husband's family until you have enough money to build your own house. By the end of the week, we had discussed abortion, Iraq, the Palestinians, Christianity and Islam and the spiritual world.
Probably the day that penetrated me the most was the day I gave the students a survey on the "supernatural". It was so cute and I still laugh about this when I introduced the topic for the day one student that's really funny said, "This is just what the doctor ordered!" I thought it was so hilarious that he said that. Anyway, that's not the point. The survey has different unexplained supernatural experiences on it such as out of body experience, fortune teller, ghosts and UFO's. It's really great for discussing spiritual issues. They go around the classroom and ask their classmates if they believe in these things and why or why not. We got into a very deep talk about worldviews and discussed the different answers to world view questions. Such as, what are humans?, Is there a God?, and why is the evil on earth?. For each question (there are more questions) we wrote together on the board how different worldviews answer these questions. Such as how would a naturalist answer "what is a human?" or how would a Hindu answer this question. So we went through all these questions but at the end I said ok, now we've discussed what different worldviews believe. But how do you know which one is right? Should we just believe the worldview of the culture we were born in (because what if it's wrong....cuz they believe Hinduism is wrong but they could've been born in India) or should we test our own worldview and others to see which best explains reality. Well, the truth is they were mesmerized and I think impacted. So this led to other discussions and I told them most of my family isn't Christian. Christianity was something I found as I was searching for truth (humanly speaking). The implications, of these ideas for them, of course, were that they shouldn't just believe Islam cuz there parents believe it. So that was a very thought provoking class.
The most exciting thing that happened, though, was that at the end of the one week camp we had church at the missionary's house and many students came. We invited them to join us but wanted to be very clear that it was church so they wouldn't feel tricked. Well, more of them came then we thought would (maybe 15) and prof. Abraham shared the gospel. And after the church service the missionary spoke in Uzbek and told the students if they were interested they can come every Sunday and the service will be in Uzbek. (By the way, we were in the missionary's living room not a church building) Here's the most amazing thing to me though that after the missionary said some stuff in Uzbek to the students the students started discussing emotionally something. After I asked one of my students what he had said. He said that he had told them that Uzbekistan isn't like some Middle Eastern countries that think Christianity is wrong but that it is possible that Christianity is not wrong because we both believe in Moses and Jesus. This was quite a amazing thing to come from his mouth and could be quite a transforming idea to Uzbeki culture. Basically, it means they are open to hearing the gospel and won't out right reject it like some Muslim countries. So hopefully that faithful Sunday a church was born in Fergana. So please pray for those students that I taught and that continue going to that missionary's house! Ok, I can't write anymore. But I hope you read this cuz I spent too much time writing it. :-)
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
When I went to get a cup of water after getting up from bed this morning I remembered a funny dream I had had. In the dream I kept drinking glasses of water again and again but my thirst was never quenched. It was the topic of everyone's conversation in my dream, "Can you believe how much Joyce is drinking but she still wants more..." I must have been thirsty during the night. I laughed to myself as I remembered how obsessive I was in my dream about wanting more and more water.
I was taking a walk on the dirt roads that lead to various rice fields behind Ro's apartment today (it's like a little forest). Enjoying the feeling of the soft breeze on my arms and the warm sun on my skin. I've perhaps been a bit of a hermit for these last couple days since I've been back from Uzbekistan kooked (for the life of me I can't remember the spelling of that word...so please put it on a shout out) up in Ro's apartment online almost all the time. I'm really enjoying it though. I wanted to read some poetry as I gazed at the green rice fields (some times for relaxation and attempting as they say in the Dead Poets Society "to suck the marrow out of life" I read poetry out loud to myself somewhere out in the outdoors) but I could only find a book about Rich Mullins. But that turned out to be great. He has some great song lyrics and many deep thoughts. He is inspiring. He was and continues to be an influence in my life. I clearly remember when he died. I was in Israel and dealing with a lot of life and death issues on a new level. I remember listening to his songs on my walkman on the roof of my school over looking the white stone old city of Jerusalem and thinking about his words, his death among many other things. Here are some snippets from a chapter on temptation from a book called Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven,
(Rich Speaking) "I've been in and out of all kinds of things-like self-deprecation, self-interest, ego trips, alcohol and other addictions. I've failed many times to avoid those kinds of temptations. But that's not really what the devil was really interested in. What he was trying to do is make me feel apart from God. Now I know that what Satan would like to take from us is our true knowledge of who we are-which is children of God."
(the book goes on to say...)
"The goal of the enemy of our souls is to destroy our relationship with God by getting us to accept the lie that we are not loved. As strange as it might sound, the actual sin itself, while damaging to the person, is not the primary issue. Musician Billy Crockett, who played guitar on many of Rich's albums noted, "We have a religious culture that tries to keep its nose clean all of the time, but in Rich Mullins you met someone whose allegiance was to something much greater than not sinning. His life is always pointing to a greater reality.""
Wow...good stuff....
Here's part of a song Rich wrote relating with this topic that I can relate to.
When a million voices whisper
And they tell me I should leave
Into the shadows that the moon casts
On these alleys and these streets
But I know that chasing shadows won't get me anywhere
'Cause I've been there
I spent some time chasing my own plans and agenda but it always leads nowhere. And now for the final quote from this book which is actually from C.S. Lewis (don't skip this....it's really insightful I think)
"Only those that try to resist temptation know how strong it is...That is why bad people know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside of us until we try to fight it: and Christ because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means-the only complete realist."
I was taking a walk on the dirt roads that lead to various rice fields behind Ro's apartment today (it's like a little forest). Enjoying the feeling of the soft breeze on my arms and the warm sun on my skin. I've perhaps been a bit of a hermit for these last couple days since I've been back from Uzbekistan kooked (for the life of me I can't remember the spelling of that word...so please put it on a shout out) up in Ro's apartment online almost all the time. I'm really enjoying it though. I wanted to read some poetry as I gazed at the green rice fields (some times for relaxation and attempting as they say in the Dead Poets Society "to suck the marrow out of life" I read poetry out loud to myself somewhere out in the outdoors) but I could only find a book about Rich Mullins. But that turned out to be great. He has some great song lyrics and many deep thoughts. He is inspiring. He was and continues to be an influence in my life. I clearly remember when he died. I was in Israel and dealing with a lot of life and death issues on a new level. I remember listening to his songs on my walkman on the roof of my school over looking the white stone old city of Jerusalem and thinking about his words, his death among many other things. Here are some snippets from a chapter on temptation from a book called Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven,
(Rich Speaking) "I've been in and out of all kinds of things-like self-deprecation, self-interest, ego trips, alcohol and other addictions. I've failed many times to avoid those kinds of temptations. But that's not really what the devil was really interested in. What he was trying to do is make me feel apart from God. Now I know that what Satan would like to take from us is our true knowledge of who we are-which is children of God."
(the book goes on to say...)
"The goal of the enemy of our souls is to destroy our relationship with God by getting us to accept the lie that we are not loved. As strange as it might sound, the actual sin itself, while damaging to the person, is not the primary issue. Musician Billy Crockett, who played guitar on many of Rich's albums noted, "We have a religious culture that tries to keep its nose clean all of the time, but in Rich Mullins you met someone whose allegiance was to something much greater than not sinning. His life is always pointing to a greater reality.""
Wow...good stuff....
Here's part of a song Rich wrote relating with this topic that I can relate to.
When a million voices whisper
And they tell me I should leave
Into the shadows that the moon casts
On these alleys and these streets
But I know that chasing shadows won't get me anywhere
'Cause I've been there
I spent some time chasing my own plans and agenda but it always leads nowhere. And now for the final quote from this book which is actually from C.S. Lewis (don't skip this....it's really insightful I think)
"Only those that try to resist temptation know how strong it is...That is why bad people know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside of us until we try to fight it: and Christ because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means-the only complete realist."
Monday, July 28, 2003
There's this fruit-loop sounding Christian guy on CNN right now discussing Christian Zionism. I just couldn't take it, so I turned the TV off. He was being so offensive! It was embarrassing! Anyway, I wanted to put a link on here so I wouldn't lose a site. (right now I'm staying at Ro's house so I can't save stuff on favorites) This article is so great! It's really easing my headache about buying a new laptop. I need to do research and make sense of all the crazy acronyms out there (RAM,SDRAM, USB, PCI, SCSI, EIDE, CPU, PCI, MIDI, NTSC...) It was stressing me out! But this article (and all the articles linked to it) is really helping me out. advice on buying a computer I feel a little lame putting this on my blog when really what I should be doing is filling you in on my Uzbekistan trip. :-O But that will come soon...good night...
Sunday, July 27, 2003
It's my second day back to Korea. Yesterday I got here half way through the day and basically bought a little food then watched a movie and went to bed. Then I woke up today around 12:45 in the afternoon. It was an exhausting trip and I didn't sleep hardly at all my all night trip here.
I've decided I'm going to try to tell about my trip to Uzbekistan little by little on my blog so that I don't write a ten page blog thus exhausting me and you. :-) I'll start by saying I think the trip changed me. Another thing I'll mention just as a short summary to start us out is that Uzbekistan is very poor and very hot. I'm also considering working there or in Central Asia on a long term basis if it's God's will. (more about that will come) What makes Uzbekistan worth while is the people and their potential. In the short interaction I had with the people I found them to be passionate, intelligent, inquiring, open, searching, desperate for opportunity and change, and impressionable. The country is very undeveloped. I hadn't been to a country that was that undeveloped in a long time. It was interesting to see the change in myself that I hadn't realized. When I was last in a country like this one I saw the poverty and lack of economic development but at that time I just didn't realize the full social and economic implications of what I was seeing. I guess I just wasn't as much of an adult then. India was very poor (and actually nobody in Uzbekistan is as poor as the poorest I saw in India) but there was still the impression of business in India -the free process of buying and selling and all that goes with that such as advertising. But in Uzbekistan there was little advertisement and often stores gave me the impression that they were somewhat out of stock. I think the country that it reminds of most is Albania, which would make sense. Because there history is somewhat similar-a post-communist country trying to make its way after opening up to the world. In the case of Uzbekistan it used to be part of Russia but became independent in 1991 when communism fell in Russia.
Well, I should go to sleep. I'll write more later. I'm leaving more San Diego 5 days...wow. In the meantime I have a lot to think about. I want to take advantage of this free time while I have it. Can you believe this is my first chunk of free time this summer!! I can't believe it either! Please pray for me as I hope to spend some serious thinking time on the subject of my Master's degree and my next step. For those close to me, they know this is something constantly on my mind because I need to start making some decisions soon or so I think.
I've decided I'm going to try to tell about my trip to Uzbekistan little by little on my blog so that I don't write a ten page blog thus exhausting me and you. :-) I'll start by saying I think the trip changed me. Another thing I'll mention just as a short summary to start us out is that Uzbekistan is very poor and very hot. I'm also considering working there or in Central Asia on a long term basis if it's God's will. (more about that will come) What makes Uzbekistan worth while is the people and their potential. In the short interaction I had with the people I found them to be passionate, intelligent, inquiring, open, searching, desperate for opportunity and change, and impressionable. The country is very undeveloped. I hadn't been to a country that was that undeveloped in a long time. It was interesting to see the change in myself that I hadn't realized. When I was last in a country like this one I saw the poverty and lack of economic development but at that time I just didn't realize the full social and economic implications of what I was seeing. I guess I just wasn't as much of an adult then. India was very poor (and actually nobody in Uzbekistan is as poor as the poorest I saw in India) but there was still the impression of business in India -the free process of buying and selling and all that goes with that such as advertising. But in Uzbekistan there was little advertisement and often stores gave me the impression that they were somewhat out of stock. I think the country that it reminds of most is Albania, which would make sense. Because there history is somewhat similar-a post-communist country trying to make its way after opening up to the world. In the case of Uzbekistan it used to be part of Russia but became independent in 1991 when communism fell in Russia.
Well, I should go to sleep. I'll write more later. I'm leaving more San Diego 5 days...wow. In the meantime I have a lot to think about. I want to take advantage of this free time while I have it. Can you believe this is my first chunk of free time this summer!! I can't believe it either! Please pray for me as I hope to spend some serious thinking time on the subject of my Master's degree and my next step. For those close to me, they know this is something constantly on my mind because I need to start making some decisions soon or so I think.
Friday, July 25, 2003
hey, I'm back...actually I'm in the airport in Seoul....I'm trying to figure out which way I want to get home to Pohang...plane or train....unfortunately....I'm sick to my stomach....so I just want to lay around....well, Uzbekistan was mind-opening and I'm coming back to Korea with a new perspective....I'll tell more about that after I recover...so more coming soon!
Sunday, July 06, 2003
I just sent my newsletter so hopefully some of you will be stopping by. If you'd like to read more about my Uzbekistan trip click here. If you'd like see wonderful pics of this last semester click here. Otherwise, please feel free to read about some of the things that are happening in my brain or in my life.
Wow, I just read a fascinating review of the Matrix discussing the symbolism in the movie concerning post-modernism and modernism. Did you know that Neo's name means new and Morpheus means change. You've got to read it.
Saturday, July 05, 2003
A Pohang (the lovely steel mill city I live in) update for all you Pohang lovers out there (you know who you are). The street where they built the new theater is now booming. It's amazing! It's not the same street. It's lined with cars and there are now food booths outside on the streets to feed the new crowds of teeny-boppers. And get this-there's a Subway sandwich shop now!!!! Yes, I said Subway!! Can you believe it!!? When I first saw it I stood gaping from across the street. Then, of course, I went and bought a sandwich which for some reason was terrible. But I'm still ecstatic that there is now a Subway in Pohang!! Wow, aren't we getting modern!?
Today I pretty much finished my summer school class. The only thing we have left are the finals Monday. For some reason, which I'm not quite in touch with yet, I really enjoyed my summer school classes. I'm thinking maybe it's because I'm their only class so they are really enthusiastic about my class. Sometimes during the school year, particularly Sophomores get burnt out and I really see it in class. I've been doing some reflecting on my expectations for my classes and my students lately. I think I have a tendency to expect my students to be passionate about my class or I start to get ticked off. Maybe I expect too much. Today their presentations were so great. As usual there were a lot references to me (they always make references to the teacher and their unique habits...like the way they say something or organize something) For example, I often group students into groups of two by saying, "you two, you two, you two.." while pointing to the students. So, of course, in one of their skits they do this and everyone thinks it's hilarious when a male student dressed like a woman starts saying, "you two, you two". Yes, when they do skits I learn about all the things I do that stick out in their minds that I had no idea about. They really went all out today. I was really proud of them. Each skit was about 20 minutes and they had music and costumes. One was about how agent Smith had kidnapped me and two of my students had to go into the matrix to find me. It was sooo funny. Then when they finally found me I didn't want to leave because agent Smith understands my "art" which is a reference to my super dorky drawings that I draw on the white board to explain a concept about grammar or writing.
Well, I found out today, tragically, that joy (less) travel loused up my plane ticket to the US in August. They misunderstood the price and after I sent them the money they told me two days later that the price is 200.000 more won then they thought. (I'm going to kill them!) Why do I use them? Well, from now on I'm going to use a different travel agency. They also caused a lot of probs for Ro's travels this summer. Please pray for me about this, because it's complicated. Because I'm leaving for Uzbekistan soon and other factors. (Basically, I had calculated my money carefully and now this messes everything up)
I am now officially leaving for Uzbekistan July 11. I found this out 2 days ago. All of MNE left yesterday except, prof. Abraham Lee and I. Strangely, Abraham's and I visas were delayed while everyone else's visas were fine. When Betty (the gal in charge of MNE) asked the travel agent what was the problem he gave the strange reply that a computer in the Uzbek embassy is broken and that's why the visas won't be ready until July 11. Hmm, that makes everything clear as crystal. But both Betty and I were like, oh well, let's just give it to the Lord cuz it's beyond us. Everything should be fine for leaving July 11 though. And now I think that’s probably better because it gives me more time, instead of racing off right after my class finishes. Especially, considering I have to sort out everything with my ticket to the US.
Today I pretty much finished my summer school class. The only thing we have left are the finals Monday. For some reason, which I'm not quite in touch with yet, I really enjoyed my summer school classes. I'm thinking maybe it's because I'm their only class so they are really enthusiastic about my class. Sometimes during the school year, particularly Sophomores get burnt out and I really see it in class. I've been doing some reflecting on my expectations for my classes and my students lately. I think I have a tendency to expect my students to be passionate about my class or I start to get ticked off. Maybe I expect too much. Today their presentations were so great. As usual there were a lot references to me (they always make references to the teacher and their unique habits...like the way they say something or organize something) For example, I often group students into groups of two by saying, "you two, you two, you two.." while pointing to the students. So, of course, in one of their skits they do this and everyone thinks it's hilarious when a male student dressed like a woman starts saying, "you two, you two". Yes, when they do skits I learn about all the things I do that stick out in their minds that I had no idea about. They really went all out today. I was really proud of them. Each skit was about 20 minutes and they had music and costumes. One was about how agent Smith had kidnapped me and two of my students had to go into the matrix to find me. It was sooo funny. Then when they finally found me I didn't want to leave because agent Smith understands my "art" which is a reference to my super dorky drawings that I draw on the white board to explain a concept about grammar or writing.
Well, I found out today, tragically, that joy (less) travel loused up my plane ticket to the US in August. They misunderstood the price and after I sent them the money they told me two days later that the price is 200.000 more won then they thought. (I'm going to kill them!) Why do I use them? Well, from now on I'm going to use a different travel agency. They also caused a lot of probs for Ro's travels this summer. Please pray for me about this, because it's complicated. Because I'm leaving for Uzbekistan soon and other factors. (Basically, I had calculated my money carefully and now this messes everything up)
I am now officially leaving for Uzbekistan July 11. I found this out 2 days ago. All of MNE left yesterday except, prof. Abraham Lee and I. Strangely, Abraham's and I visas were delayed while everyone else's visas were fine. When Betty (the gal in charge of MNE) asked the travel agent what was the problem he gave the strange reply that a computer in the Uzbek embassy is broken and that's why the visas won't be ready until July 11. Hmm, that makes everything clear as crystal. But both Betty and I were like, oh well, let's just give it to the Lord cuz it's beyond us. Everything should be fine for leaving July 11 though. And now I think that’s probably better because it gives me more time, instead of racing off right after my class finishes. Especially, considering I have to sort out everything with my ticket to the US.
Saturday, June 28, 2003
Hi-this is a quick hi. Mostly because I'm writing on my office computer which usually for some weird reason only lets me write a couple sentences, then it won't publish anymore than that. Anyway, Ro, Joanne and Sandy-I love you and miss you! And I'm reading your blogs. It's a bummer that shout outs are closed for maintenance-eh! Things are going well and training MNE has been really great! Worth all my lost sleep :-) Look forward to more of your entries and I'll write more later.
Sunday, June 22, 2003
Tomorrow is my first day of summer school and I kind of feel like "what's happening?" I just finished this semester's finals so it's just not in my biological time clock to have a class tomorrow. No purposeful reference to the entry before this one.:-) I just finshed a meeting with the leaders for the missions trip I'm going on. It's really exciting but it's going to be a really busy week. I'm teaching normal students in the morning then I'm teaching the students that are going on the missions trip at night. We are also having prayer meetings and team building meetings. By the way, I'm going on a missions trip to Uzbekistan from July 8th to the 22nd. My deciding to go happened so quickly. As I was working with MNE (missions and English) this semester I was generally not planning on going on their trip this summer because I was already going to the US. That was going to cost enough money. However, the week before finals the English department decided to fund my trip to Uzbekistan so then I decided I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. I'm still going to the States though. (Probably August 1-15) Anyway, I want to write more about this later. But for now I just want anyone one who reads this blog to please pray for me in this next week because I'm going to be going non-stop. However, thankfully it will be just this week then the team is leaving July1st. I'm joining them later because of summer school. To read more about the trip go to my Uzbekistan page.
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
While grading tonight I was struck with an anxiety that frequently rings in my mind. It goes something like this-why don't I just get a PhD in changing diapers? Wouldn't that be more practical and relevant to my future life? Here's the situation according to my calculations. I'm 26 and I'm planning on going to grad school not this September but the next. I'll be 27 when I start. I'm calculating that I'll be in school until I'm 30. Ok, so hypothetically speaking let's say I get married during grad school or soon after. Again hypothetically speaking I then would be ready to start my next step with my husband, which I hope and pray would be missionary work in the Middle East. At this point, sure, I can start to use the skills that I slaved away in grad school to gain but soon I'll have to have children. (I don't say "have to" begrudgedly as some duty I don't want to fulfill but just as a life fact that most likely I'll feel a) that I should have them sometime soon before it becomes a medical risk which I guess is after 35ish or b) I just get pregnant (whoops!-style) Then I assume I'll be hanging out with them at home until they go to school or even longer. Which would be about 5 years at the least. Of course, this doesn't have to be the case. But this is how I feel: I really want to have kids and I want to give them the best of me when I do have them. So I want to stay at home with them when I have them. Which leads me back to my dilemma. Why am I going to go to grad school and spend soooo much money and time when that education is probably not going to be the most valuable to my everyday life for the next 5 to 10 years after grad school? I'll be thinking about diapers, naps, feedings, how to discipline in a healthy way and how to lead them to the Lord.
There could be a lot of different answers to this question and the other questions hidden inside it (questions about the role of the woman in the family and society, a Christian woman's role, sharing parental duties and so on) depending on your school of thought. I can almost hear all of them in my head, not to mention the answers saying "Don't worry about it-you're not even married yet!" Right-but I still have to think about what I'm doing and why I do it. However, so far every time I'm struck with this anxiety I come back to that I'm just simply following where the Lord leads me and he'll work out those details. The truth but maybe not the most emotionally nor intellectually satisfying answer. On top of this answer I also believe that you should just follow your dreams passionately and everything will ultimately work out. Otherwise a person will just live in regret. One more note in addition to those previous semi-conclusions to my dilemma: Of course, I think it's important for a woman to be very educated (as much as she wants to be), even if she chooses to be at home with her children that education is vitally important for many reasons. One being that education is not only about if you use it in a practical way but it is a gain in and of itself---right? Right!
There is more I could say about that, but this a little bit about my “how am I going to do everything I want to in one life time” attacks.
Oh and by the way, Matrix: Reloaded was a disappointment. Maybe I’ll talk more about that later. But I am still glad we went to Busan to watch it though. We went to TGIF after!!! Yummy! That’s a special treat!
note: I'm not planning on getting a PhD...just 2 MA's and a web-designer certificate :-) I'm serious....or at least I'm seriously considering it. :-)...I think it'll take just over 3 years...
There could be a lot of different answers to this question and the other questions hidden inside it (questions about the role of the woman in the family and society, a Christian woman's role, sharing parental duties and so on) depending on your school of thought. I can almost hear all of them in my head, not to mention the answers saying "Don't worry about it-you're not even married yet!" Right-but I still have to think about what I'm doing and why I do it. However, so far every time I'm struck with this anxiety I come back to that I'm just simply following where the Lord leads me and he'll work out those details. The truth but maybe not the most emotionally nor intellectually satisfying answer. On top of this answer I also believe that you should just follow your dreams passionately and everything will ultimately work out. Otherwise a person will just live in regret. One more note in addition to those previous semi-conclusions to my dilemma: Of course, I think it's important for a woman to be very educated (as much as she wants to be), even if she chooses to be at home with her children that education is vitally important for many reasons. One being that education is not only about if you use it in a practical way but it is a gain in and of itself---right? Right!
There is more I could say about that, but this a little bit about my “how am I going to do everything I want to in one life time” attacks.
Oh and by the way, Matrix: Reloaded was a disappointment. Maybe I’ll talk more about that later. But I am still glad we went to Busan to watch it though. We went to TGIF after!!! Yummy! That’s a special treat!
note: I'm not planning on getting a PhD...just 2 MA's and a web-designer certificate :-) I'm serious....or at least I'm seriously considering it. :-)...I think it'll take just over 3 years...
Thursday, June 05, 2003
I just finished my html homework for this week and now I'm anxious to get out of my office. It's Friday but it's a national holiday. So everybody has off today. Next week is the last week of classes before finals. Man, the last week was kind of emotional and tiring. Thank goodness, it's the weekend. However, perhaps it's going to be kind of a burdensome weekend because I have a lot of grading to do. I guess that's not totally true though because tomorrow I'm going to Busan to see Matrix Reloaded. Yeahhh!!!!!!!! Finally. Ro and I refused to watch it in Pohang because the theaters are terrible. When a movie is really popular people actually crowd into the back of the theater room in the last 15 minutes of the movie your watching. They do it cuz they want to get a good seat for the next showing but it's super distracting for the 15 minutes of the movie you're watching. It's crazy-they're so loud. Anyway, needless to say we didn't want to deal with that with a movie we have been looking forward to watching for 4 years.
Here's the link to my html homework. Some of the content is nonsense because I'm just trying to practice the code at this point not trying to make great content at this time. html homework
Here's the link to my html homework. Some of the content is nonsense because I'm just trying to practice the code at this point not trying to make great content at this time. html homework
Monday, May 26, 2003
I had my some of my students over to my house to make cookies. It was a new experience for them to make western style desserts. Check out the pics...
Friday, May 23, 2003
Today was a big day-I uploaded my first html homework assignment onto the net and I paid off all my bills. Not to mention, I also saw one of my good friends cry for the first time today and one of my other good friends saw me cry for the first time yesterday. These are slightly emotional times lately around my neck of the woods. In my opinion, it's a lot because we got our schedules for next semester this last Wednesday and they're pretty much lame for everybody. There's an administration squeeze which basically means they won't hire another person for this next semester yet that's what we need for everyone's schedule to be manageable thus most people's schedules aren't manageable. But on to what I want to tell you and I might come back to that later but you could say a prayer for our staff about that.
Yes, I did say html (which doesn't stand for have tomatoes melted lately nor does it stand for healthy toes moo loudly) Ha,ha...I'm so funny. It's a code that helps you to design WebPages. I'm taking an html class on the internet-so far it's really great. Just what I need -with not too much information but enough for me to educate myself about the stuff I want to know and the price is great, too. 20$ for a 6 week class -so far I'm pleased. http://www.lvsonline.com I've run out of time. I've got to go to sleep. I'm having one of my really active classes come over and we're going to make cookies (because they don't make cookies in the western sense...it's not in their tradition, they make Korean style goodies) I'm kind of nervous about it, though because I'm not really a baker and I hope I can find all the materials I need such as chocolate chips! Good night!
Yes, I did say html (which doesn't stand for have tomatoes melted lately nor does it stand for healthy toes moo loudly) Ha,ha...I'm so funny. It's a code that helps you to design WebPages. I'm taking an html class on the internet-so far it's really great. Just what I need -with not too much information but enough for me to educate myself about the stuff I want to know and the price is great, too. 20$ for a 6 week class -so far I'm pleased. http://www.lvsonline.com I've run out of time. I've got to go to sleep. I'm having one of my really active classes come over and we're going to make cookies (because they don't make cookies in the western sense...it's not in their tradition, they make Korean style goodies) I'm kind of nervous about it, though because I'm not really a baker and I hope I can find all the materials I need such as chocolate chips! Good night!
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
Right now we're having festival at my school. This is a time when my school has all kinds of activities, competitions and special food stands. Not to mention there are no classes on Thursday and Friday. The bummer is though that somehow ironically it seems every festival the weather decides to be unseasonably cold and rainy. So that makes the students sad because they put so much work into their performances but it's rainy and inconvenient. Well, me I'm trying to grade two classes of writing a day so I can be caught up. Right now I'm kind of sad because it just seems my time always goes right out the window. But I suppose I shouldn't be that bummed cuz I met my personal "grading goal" yesterday. This is also a time to try and hang out with students, so in 5 minutes I'm going out with a student to hang out.
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
hi Teen Mania people! Welcome to my site! I can see some of you have been visiting. It's good to see you here. Please feel free to look around and write me a "shout out" if you want. You can tell me how the honor academy was for you or ask me questions about "life 7 years outside the internship or honor academy" What do you guys call yourselves now? Interns?
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Ok...here I go again about super stars. But I was surfing the net today and adding some stuff to my site which caused me to take a look at this Christian site that I think does a great job of interacting with the arts from a Christian worldview. It doesn't just write stuff off as "bad" but interacts-particularly analyzing movies. Among other interesting articles I came across an article on a new movie coming out by Mel Gibson called, "Passion". It's a movie chronicling Jesus’ walk to the cross and in the movie Jesus only speaks Aramaic and Latin with no subtitles! You've got to read this interview-it's fascinating! Interview with Mel Gibson about his movie, "Passion" Write me a shout out about what you think of the interview...
Monday, May 05, 2003
I'm so happy right now because I just read this interview with Madonna. (Read the interview) I'm so happy for her. She's really come to so far in her emotional well being. It's interesting to read these interviews with stars and see some of them go through this cycle. Because they get to a point in their life where they have everything they could possibly want and yet they are still empty and their life is still chaotic. I think they get the unique opportunity to have a "Solomon experience" where they realize everything is meaningless without real love, truth and ultimately God. The interviewer asked her about her past and to summarize she said, "I was a buffoon until the age 40" and the reason was that everything was about her being the center of attention. The interviewer said, "What's wrong with that?" And she said, "Because that's not what were put on this earth for." She and her family have gotten really into Kabala, which is a mystical form of Judaism. Interesting, very interesting. So anyway I'm happy she's gained some stability in her life and I'm also happy about the kind of cultural impact this can have on people. Interestingly, I've happened to watch some enlightening interviews with stars lately. For example, I saw an interview with Bono from the band U2 on Larry King Live and wow-I was impressed. It was a similar thing, these are old stars and they've been there, seen that and done that. And it's not what everyone thinks it's going to be. So Bono is really into fighting AIDS in Africa and he gave a very persuasive argument for the issues surrounding that in Africa.
So I'm in my office because as you know this one of the only places I can get Internet access. The sound of students singing praise songs in Korean is drifting into my open office window. They often pray and sing praise songs in the plaza outside my window. I just got back a couple hours ago from Seoul. I was there with Sandy, Ro and Joanne. We had a good time. Right now it all seems like a blur. We went up there Friday night by bus, which was actually really fun. We got into really interesting conversations on the way there. Then the whole weekend we mostly shopped and ate Western food that we normally don't have access to. It's so nice to go to Seoul because in comparison to Pohang it seems like you can get and do anything. Oh yeah, we went to this cool college district and sipped drinks in the cool night air as we sat on the patio of a restaurant that looked like an old-style mansion. That area was "hopping". It reminded me a little bit of Spain because it was late at night and there were people everywhere eating at these outside cafes. I also bought a couple books, which I'm really excited about. I bought a book called, "What went wrong?" a book discussing and analyzing the historical relationship between the Middle East and Europe. It should be interesting. I also got a book by National Geographic called, "Islam" which has a lot of stunning pictures and stories from the 1900's till now. So I'm excited. Ro, Sandy, Joanne and I also had Bible reading and prayer times at night, which we never have had before (we've prayed together but never in this organized of a manner) so it was really great to pray for each other. I also love to hear the Word read out loud, it's beautiful just to hear doctrine and truth wash over you.
Also I was surfing the web earlier and I came across the website of the ministry I used to work for a long time ago, Teen Mania. It was so amazing to visit the world that for one year was my entire world. I also visited the website of the program I was a part of once called "The Internship" now called "Honor Academy". I'm going to get an ID soon as an alumni and see if I can chat with some old friends. Here's the website http://www.honoracademy.com
So I'm in my office because as you know this one of the only places I can get Internet access. The sound of students singing praise songs in Korean is drifting into my open office window. They often pray and sing praise songs in the plaza outside my window. I just got back a couple hours ago from Seoul. I was there with Sandy, Ro and Joanne. We had a good time. Right now it all seems like a blur. We went up there Friday night by bus, which was actually really fun. We got into really interesting conversations on the way there. Then the whole weekend we mostly shopped and ate Western food that we normally don't have access to. It's so nice to go to Seoul because in comparison to Pohang it seems like you can get and do anything. Oh yeah, we went to this cool college district and sipped drinks in the cool night air as we sat on the patio of a restaurant that looked like an old-style mansion. That area was "hopping". It reminded me a little bit of Spain because it was late at night and there were people everywhere eating at these outside cafes. I also bought a couple books, which I'm really excited about. I bought a book called, "What went wrong?" a book discussing and analyzing the historical relationship between the Middle East and Europe. It should be interesting. I also got a book by National Geographic called, "Islam" which has a lot of stunning pictures and stories from the 1900's till now. So I'm excited. Ro, Sandy, Joanne and I also had Bible reading and prayer times at night, which we never have had before (we've prayed together but never in this organized of a manner) so it was really great to pray for each other. I also love to hear the Word read out loud, it's beautiful just to hear doctrine and truth wash over you.
Also I was surfing the web earlier and I came across the website of the ministry I used to work for a long time ago, Teen Mania. It was so amazing to visit the world that for one year was my entire world. I also visited the website of the program I was a part of once called "The Internship" now called "Honor Academy". I'm going to get an ID soon as an alumni and see if I can chat with some old friends. Here's the website http://www.honoracademy.com
Thursday, May 01, 2003
It's Thursday night. 9pm and I'm still in my office. I just finished a meeting with a sweet passionate girl that works for a student ran missionary group here on campus called MNE (Mission and English). We talked about exciting possibilities of me helping to train the MNE students to teach English. I already taught them a little bit last semester and it was such a refreshing change to teach people that spoke so well and were so motivated to learn. So I'm excited, humbled and honored about the prospect of teaching them this semester. Well, we'll see what happens because I've learned to take it one step at a time and not get too far ahead of myself.
Haha...right now I'm listening to "Manic Monday" by Cindy Lauper. It's really funny. It brings back memories of an era-doesn't it? "Just another Manic Monday...la,la"
Wow, Sandy came in here and we just had this big talk about the therapeutic benefits of writing (especially publicly) and then we had a big discussion about the nature of Christian freedom. So now we are both really tired and I need to pack because we're (Sandy, Ro, Joanne and I) going to Seoul this weekend because we all have Monday off. So we're going to go have some fun in the big city. Off to pack. Later
Haha...right now I'm listening to "Manic Monday" by Cindy Lauper. It's really funny. It brings back memories of an era-doesn't it? "Just another Manic Monday...la,la"
Wow, Sandy came in here and we just had this big talk about the therapeutic benefits of writing (especially publicly) and then we had a big discussion about the nature of Christian freedom. So now we are both really tired and I need to pack because we're (Sandy, Ro, Joanne and I) going to Seoul this weekend because we all have Monday off. So we're going to go have some fun in the big city. Off to pack. Later
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