Goodness. I don't know what's gotten into me. Usually whenever I'm in my room, I become a workaholic. There's always something that needs to be done-right? But I've just been lounging around in my room all day watching good movies and reading devotional books just for pleasure.

I love Rich Mullins. I was thinking-him and Amy Carmichael are two of the most influential people in my life (not counting those people I've actually known).

I'm revisiting, An Arrow Pointing to Heaven, a "devotional biography" of Rich Mullins life. I was touched anew by both his love of God and his frailty.

"If my life is motivated by my ambition to leave a legacy, what I'll probably leave as a legacy is ambition. But if my life is motivated by the power of the Spirit in me-if I live with the awareness of the indwelling Christ, if I allow His presence to guide my motives, those sorts of things. That's the only time I think we really leave a great legacy."
-Rich Mullins

I finally had the pleasure of watching, "Motorcycle Diaries". A beautiful movie-I found Gael to be an arresting and singularly emotive actor. And I also thought Rodrigo gave a powerful performance.

After the move, I briefly read an overview on the life of "Che". Some criticized, some praised. The usual. Apparently, many in the Cuban exile community criticize him for being "personally responsible" for torturing dissidents of the revolution in Cuba.

Whatever the case is, it got me thinking about how in my meager, humble estimation of history it's always the same story. Well-meaning people, well-meaning ideologies often become the monster they originally were fighting against.

The line between "the right" and "the wrong", "the good" and "the bad" often becomes fuzzy. Unfortunately, the church is no exception to this. Catholics, Protestants, Atheists, Communists -humanity can't cloak its true face with any ideology or self-righteousness but through out the cycles of history continues to prove that we as a race need a savior from ourselves and the restoration of our most fundamental nature.

it's about time, baby!

for the first time since i've been LA, it's rained. normally by this time in the morning, it's in the 8o's. But right now it's a delicious 63 degrees. the grayness and perpetual misting brings a quiet sanctity to the morning. i love mornings like this. i don't want the calm quietness to break with the business of the day.

prayer thoughts~
God: I'm speaking to you when you wake up and stumble to the bathroom with your eyes half closed, I'm speaking to you through out the day, I'm there, I'm with you. but you often can't/don't hear me because how often is your mind really silent and your spirit still. your mind is humming with your world, your self.

those words caught my attention and for a moment i really understood those words of a lover that doesn't feel listened to, that feels their beloved is not really present with them. it's painful when you're sharing with someone and you feel your words are not being absorbed on their own merit but are only received as reflections of the listener's thoughts.

it's been a while since i've really focused on quieting my spirit before the face of God. But it's really so simple-isn't it. Be quiet and for one moment don't think of yourself and what you have to say but point your ears upwards and wait. Incredibly simple and almost basic etiquette for any relationship but amazingly easy to overlook in my relationship with God.

Lord, I'm sorry. I'm present with You. I'm here with You, too.

Welcome to Saudi Arabia (otherwise known as Pasadena). Yes, it’s been 100 degrees the last 3 days. Yeah and I feel like an air-conditioning refugee. There’s no air-conditioning in my building and usually it’s not that big of a deal. But when the weather is like this it is truly unbearable. I actually get nauseous if I stay in my room during the day.

Lord, please make it stop.

So after work I pick up my stuff in my room as quickly as I can and then take off for somewhere where I can camp out in a/c. I feel like I’m snowed in except I’m “heated” in.

It’s global warming I tell you!

I’m going to be running in the Long Beach half-marathon in October with a bunch of people from Mosaic. We’re doing it in conjunction with Worldvision to raise money for AIDS victims in Ethiopia. I’ll be posting more info on that later.

I haven’t been in the habit of running since I experienced grad school and Vermont winters. So I’m trying to jog at least 5 days a week (in the early morning, of course) so I don’t damage something when I run 13 miles.

Blogging is my Therapy

I miss blogging like I mean it. Blogging used to really help me sort out my thoughts. It was a place where I could be irrational, raw, ungaurded. I think it had to do a lot with how I started blogging in the first place. Long, long ago on a blog planet far, far away the only people that read my blog were my most intimate friends who could read between the lines and knew me first and foremost. My blog was a secondary source.

But these days I often get blog constipation and find myself worrying about what people would think if I wrote what I really wanted to write. I would venture to guess that the majority of the people that read my site don't even know me apart from the blog world. So I've just decided that I'm going to attempt to regain my first love and throw off my blog anxieties! *uhemm*