Hi-this is a quick hi. Mostly because I'm writing on my office computer which usually for some weird reason only lets me write a couple sentences, then it won't publish anymore than that. Anyway, Ro, Joanne and Sandy-I love you and miss you! And I'm reading your blogs. It's a bummer that shout outs are closed for maintenance-eh! Things are going well and training MNE has been really great! Worth all my lost sleep :-) Look forward to more of your entries and I'll write more later.

Tomorrow is my first day of summer school and I kind of feel like "what's happening?" I just finished this semester's finals so it's just not in my biological time clock to have a class tomorrow. No purposeful reference to the entry before this one.:-) I just finshed a meeting with the leaders for the missions trip I'm going on. It's really exciting but it's going to be a really busy week. I'm teaching normal students in the morning then I'm teaching the students that are going on the missions trip at night. We are also having prayer meetings and team building meetings. By the way, I'm going on a missions trip to Uzbekistan from July 8th to the 22nd. My deciding to go happened so quickly. As I was working with MNE (missions and English) this semester I was generally not planning on going on their trip this summer because I was already going to the US. That was going to cost enough money. However, the week before finals the English department decided to fund my trip to Uzbekistan so then I decided I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. I'm still going to the States though. (Probably August 1-15) Anyway, I want to write more about this later. But for now I just want anyone one who reads this blog to please pray for me in this next week because I'm going to be going non-stop. However, thankfully it will be just this week then the team is leaving July1st. I'm joining them later because of summer school. To read more about the trip go to my Uzbekistan page.

While grading tonight I was struck with an anxiety that frequently rings in my mind. It goes something like this-why don't I just get a PhD in changing diapers? Wouldn't that be more practical and relevant to my future life? Here's the situation according to my calculations. I'm 26 and I'm planning on going to grad school not this September but the next. I'll be 27 when I start. I'm calculating that I'll be in school until I'm 30. Ok, so hypothetically speaking let's say I get married during grad school or soon after. Again hypothetically speaking I then would be ready to start my next step with my husband, which I hope and pray would be missionary work in the Middle East. At this point, sure, I can start to use the skills that I slaved away in grad school to gain but soon I'll have to have children. (I don't say "have to" begrudgedly as some duty I don't want to fulfill but just as a life fact that most likely I'll feel a) that I should have them sometime soon before it becomes a medical risk which I guess is after 35ish or b) I just get pregnant (whoops!-style) Then I assume I'll be hanging out with them at home until they go to school or even longer. Which would be about 5 years at the least. Of course, this doesn't have to be the case. But this is how I feel: I really want to have kids and I want to give them the best of me when I do have them. So I want to stay at home with them when I have them. Which leads me back to my dilemma. Why am I going to go to grad school and spend soooo much money and time when that education is probably not going to be the most valuable to my everyday life for the next 5 to 10 years after grad school? I'll be thinking about diapers, naps, feedings, how to discipline in a healthy way and how to lead them to the Lord.

There could be a lot of different answers to this question and the other questions hidden inside it (questions about the role of the woman in the family and society, a Christian woman's role, sharing parental duties and so on) depending on your school of thought. I can almost hear all of them in my head, not to mention the answers saying "Don't worry about it-you're not even married yet!" Right-but I still have to think about what I'm doing and why I do it. However, so far every time I'm struck with this anxiety I come back to that I'm just simply following where the Lord leads me and he'll work out those details. The truth but maybe not the most emotionally nor intellectually satisfying answer. On top of this answer I also believe that you should just follow your dreams passionately and everything will ultimately work out. Otherwise a person will just live in regret. One more note in addition to those previous semi-conclusions to my dilemma: Of course, I think it's important for a woman to be very educated (as much as she wants to be), even if she chooses to be at home with her children that education is vitally important for many reasons. One being that education is not only about if you use it in a practical way but it is a gain in and of itself---right? Right!

There is more I could say about that, but this a little bit about my “how am I going to do everything I want to in one life time” attacks.

Oh and by the way, Matrix: Reloaded was a disappointment. Maybe I’ll talk more about that later. But I am still glad we went to Busan to watch it though. We went to TGIF after!!! Yummy! That’s a special treat!

note: I'm not planning on getting a PhD...just 2 MA's and a web-designer certificate :-) I'm serious....or at least I'm seriously considering it. :-)...I think it'll take just over 3 years...

I just finished my html homework for this week and now I'm anxious to get out of my office. It's Friday but it's a national holiday. So everybody has off today. Next week is the last week of classes before finals. Man, the last week was kind of emotional and tiring. Thank goodness, it's the weekend. However, perhaps it's going to be kind of a burdensome weekend because I have a lot of grading to do. I guess that's not totally true though because tomorrow I'm going to Busan to see Matrix Reloaded. Yeahhh!!!!!!!! Finally. Ro and I refused to watch it in Pohang because the theaters are terrible. When a movie is really popular people actually crowd into the back of the theater room in the last 15 minutes of the movie your watching. They do it cuz they want to get a good seat for the next showing but it's super distracting for the 15 minutes of the movie you're watching. It's crazy-they're so loud. Anyway, needless to say we didn't want to deal with that with a movie we have been looking forward to watching for 4 years.
Here's the link to my html homework. Some of the content is nonsense because I'm just trying to practice the code at this point not trying to make great content at this time. html homework