Well, it's time for the unveiling of my plans-for you my eager readers. (You're out there- right? I can't read anything because blogs still can't load anywhere in Pohang or even in of all Korea as far as I know. Can you believe it?)

I've gone through various emotions today then finally came back to "ya know, it's going to be OK" I was reading about globalization and development issues most of the day on opendemocracy.net And this spurred me on to research once again the different graduate programs I'm interested in. Which caused me to eventually start questioning myself again. Should I go into Education? Or should I go into Intercultural Studies, Anthropology, International Policy, Development? No, that's too theoretical, well, maybe that's too narrow... What if I'm not smart enough, not academic enough? What if I get married? What if I don't? What if I get there and I realize that I hate the subject?

Welcome to my mind.

The good news is that I'm not in charge of my life! Thank God! Look at that wishy-washy mess. :-) The one thing that I know for sure is that I'm following Him and that I want to work together with Him on this earth. So with that said it looks like I'm coming back to San Diego to work on certificates in Web-design and Community Economic Development while I apply to go to grad-school in 2005.

The main reason I'm waiting a year instead of going to grad-school this year is because in this last semester I've come to the conviction that I don't want a MA solely in TESL. Therefore, I need time to research the schools I want to apply to and write the essays for the applications. (which takes forever I might add)

Sometimes I see going back to San Diego as a wonderful development in my life because I can help my ageing grams, hang out with my sis and her adorable kids and get certificates in programs I'm highly interested in for almost free. But about half the time I'm terrified at the fact that I'm going back in a time machine to a place that often signifies for me intellectual/spiritual stagnation and emotional drainage. I was telling my friends a couple weeks ago that going back to San Diego is like getting the "go back to start" card in the Monopoly board game.

All that negativity aside I also feel excited to go back because I do love my family and friends there and I really do believe God's going to guide me. Not to mention that no matter what I'm so privileged to have the opportunities I have-especially when I think of my beautiful, hard-working sisters and bros in the developing world.

By the way, I finally bought my ticket back to the US. I'm leaving July 10th!