The House I Lived in
I've been living in the "Aylward House" these last 6 months. It's funny the places we live in and their names that we take for granted. I've been living in the city of angels and today I'm driving down to Saint Diego. These names no longer have significance except to label a geographic area but at one time they represented more than just a location.

But back to the house I've been living in (and I say "lived" in because I'm moving out for good in about 20 minutes) It's named after the m.issionary Gladys Aylward. I read her story a couple weeks ago and was touched that I was living in her namesake.

She was born into a working class family at the turn of the 20th century. She worked as a maid and was actually rejected by her m.issions school because they thought she wasn't academic enough to learn the Chinese language.

However, she ended up moving independently to China by saving her own money and there she took on many innovative rolls such as women's foot inspector (the Chinese government asked her to help enforce the new law that made it illegal to bind women's feet) and hotel manager along a busy travel route. She used all of these innovative mediums to share the gospel.

What a great house I've been living in....

more than serving tea...

interesting...

Michael Jackson-Beat It Video

haha...oh my gosh...go 80's! Their clothes are hilarious! and Michael's piano shirt! so funny!

7th annual weblog awards...looks like a good place to find new, interesting blogs.

Thoughts:
*I secretly want to live in an old house with creaky stairs, fire place and organic herb garden in Portland someday
*I'm thinking about switching to xanga despite how I much I dislike the idea of trying to figure it out...mostly because their security options are so much more flexible than blogger's
*I love crazyauntpurl (even though she doesn't know I exist :-)...her 1/18 entry was particularly touching.

i'm much better now. thanks for your prayers. i'm very busy now as you can imagine...so posts might be few and far between for a while. but do keep me in your thoughts/prayers and be sure to check my other blog as well.

i'm the sickest i've been in a long while. *sniff* it's a bummer because this isn't a good time to be sick for me. like there's any good time to be sick but this really isn't a good time.

Lord, please heal me quickly!

this is disturbing! about the effects of the movie "kiterunner" on actual afghans.

Ten Potential Surprises for 2007 from "The Globalist"

Interesting guesses.....

hahahaa...."Friends" turn 30....totally relate...lol

Ahhhhhhh!! I just bought my one way ticket to Turkey! Needless to say a lot needs to get done before I leave. How has time come upon me so suddenly?

Anyway, here's the deal...I'm leaving LA by Feb. 1st and driving all my crap down to SD where I will store, rearrange and pack some more. Then my plane will leave for Turkey Feb. 11!

So I definitely want to hang out with you LA homies before I leave. I'll be emailing tonight to make times to meet with ya'll.

http://www.pandora.com/

check it out and thank me later...:-)

Happy 2007 everyone!

You can check out my "videos" link for more videos if you like...Ro's here visiting so I won't be blogging much for a couple days.

Happy B-day! (take 2)

Sandy, Ro and I reunite for my 30th (eek!) b-day!

note: the sound's a little off...too bad.

silent night, holy night...all is calm...
i've begun to realize how much i analyze in an attempt to control my life. i can get in cycles where i worry myself sick over things i can't control nor completely understand. God has begun to show me that there is a time to stop thinking, mauling and just give..give it into hands bigger than my own.

it's freeing and scary...if i'm not worrying then what will happen? a loss of perceived control but in actuality getting out of daddy's way so that He has full reign over the issues.

i realized tonight on deeper level something i think the Lord has been consistently whispering to me for a while,

Ps. 113:1-2
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

was on my way to SD this morning and actually had to turn back to Pasadena because the traffic was so bad. one of those road repair trucks actually got on the highway and started shouting into a loud speaker, "everyone get off the highway...the highway has been closed...take an alternate route."

CRAZINESS

i got off and ended up stranded at a shopping center with dozens of other commuters. eventually, we found out that there had been a police chase on the 15 and the culprit had been shot. apparently, the highway was going to be closed until 8pm....two days before christmas! my oh my

so i turned around and drove 45 minutes back to pasadena and promptly took a nap. for some reason it really wiped me out or maybe i'm getting sick. anyway, i'm going to be leaving early tomorrow. hopefully it won't be a repeat experience.

Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone!

And while i remember here's an awesome sermon by chip ingram i recently listened to which is definitely in the spirit of christmas. maybe you can listen to it while making cookies or something..

Generosity: The Gateway to Intimacy With God

jo's reply to my dec. 15th entry... :-)

The Year Religion Learned Humility

Part 1 Colbert 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner

Okay, I just don't get it. Why did they invite this guy to speak at a White House event because he's seriously dissing on everyone in the room especially Bush.

It's crazy! You'd think he'd tone it down because he's there. Oh man...no matter what you think of what he says you have to admit that guy has guts.

I looked this video up because I heard someone on NPR calling it one of the most striking cultural moments of the year. Mostly because of its shock value....apparently no one thought he'd be that bold in that setting.

It's kind of uncomfortable to watch because of that reason.

Time's person of the year: ME (and I guess...you, too.)

The Inner Voice of Love
"Henry Nouwen, Catholic priest and popular author (The Wounded Healer, 1972), hit a six-month spiritual and mental crisis at the end of 1987 during which he "wondered whether I would be able to hold on to my life. Everything came crashing down: my self-esteem, my energy to live and work, my sense of being loved, my hope for healing, my trust in God... everything." This book is his personal journal written during his time of anguish. For years, Nouwen felt his experience was too personal to share with the world, but on advice from friends, and in the hope that these insights would help nurture others, he published his journal entries."

Sounds so good...I love Nouwen. I think I'm going to check that baby out at the library.

From last nite's reading:
Romans 5:2-3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance (uh-huh); perseverance, character (yup); and character, hope (huh?).

I mean...I believe You and everything but I don't really see the connection. However, I think I've found a jewel that I'm excited for You to uncover.

moments that still make me smile:
*alison gleefully dancing across the empty dance floor at the 80's club in downtown SD oblivious (or at least appearing to be) that the whole bar was watching her with a mixture of amusement and surprise. of course, as usual i was laughing hysterically in the corner at her big curly haired antics. (and i should add that this dance floor is framed by glass walls...so pedestrians walking by gazes in) haha *sigh*

*joanne...oh there are so many. (seoul, korea) ro, sandy and i are running down the stairs to catch the next subway train before the doors close. but do we take the train on the right or the left? only joanne knows and she's still running down the stairs behind us surrounded by dozens of others running for the train.

we yell and motion to her trying to communicate through all the noise and bodies. we point to the left and she yells out, "narr,narr,narr" haha see...joanne is australian and apparently in australianish when you're in a hurry and can barely hear each other "nar" means "no!" needless to say the three of us looked at her in bewilderment and were like, "dude, does that mean "no"?"

But despite the language barrier we did get on the right train...

*joanne on the dance floor at sandy's wedding. hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. oh that memory will have laugh mileage for years. we were later discussing her "uninhibited" dance style and she made the comment that she hoped that she didn't look like an old man who never gets out dancing around in his cardigan. haaaaahhaha

and you know what-for a while whenever i looked back at that night without even realising it i imagined joanne dancing around in a cardigan. haha

*sandy in her big floppy winter hat...the hat in contrast to her big bubba shrimp lips....something was hilarious about it. especially when she would accidentally scream because of my crazy korea driving and her hat would fall over her eyes a bit. she looked a little like one of the 7 dwarfs. haaha

*(in mexico with our basketball team) ro and i speeding by our dumbfounded teammates in our speedy motorized boat. one of the girls yelling at us that we're supposed to stay in line...and ro and i just cackling evilly and waving. hahahaha Because our tour guide had told us to speed ahead of everyone including him because for some reason our boat was much faster than everyone else's.

so sorry to hear that James Kim died....i was really praying they'd find him alive....so sad.

do yourself a favor and don't go shopping today! it's crazy out there! I was just trying to go to trader joe's and spent forever looking for a parking space...

ISTANBUL, Dec. 4— For every stereotype of a Muslim country, Turkey has a fact to break it.

It has Islamic feminists (a few) and Israeli tourists (lots). Reality dating shows have had the highest ratings on television, and Islamic fashion sashays down Turkish runways.

For decades in Turkey the competing forces of the religious and secular, Christian and Muslim, East and West, were muted, as authorities scrubbed the country of differences while they built a modern state. But Turkey has become more democratic in recent years, and those forces have burst into full view, creating a sort of modern-day identity crisis.

nameless teacher

I often think back to this girl that I met while I was visiting a Bible college in Palestine. I don't remember exactly what she looked like, I don't know if I ever knew her name. I just remember that she spoke very good Arabic for an American and that she was around my age.

She was tall and had long blond hair. She had been living in a Palestinian village. And I knew enough about the culture to know that she would constantly be getting attention for her strikingly different looks not to mention that she was a single American woman. I assumed that people in her village would automaticly deduce that she was a "bad woman" and that in turn would make things difficult for her.

Extremely curious about her language abilities and her boldness for living in an Arab culture so young, I peppered her with questions. "Isn't it difficult? Don't they hassle you?" I was basically mirroring all the protests people had imposed on me. I'll never forget her calm, confident answer, "Don't let people's small minds stop you."

Gift monster

Originally uploaded by sadoptimist.

On this the night before December I thought it would be appropriate to post gift ideas that steer away from consumerism and stay in the spirit of Christmas by giving twice. First, there's the gift ideas compiled by The New American Dream website. I love their ideas for kids. I think I might try the "make your own bird feeder" with my niece and nephew.

I already asked my niece and nephew to donate some of their saved-up dollars and precious quarters to me so that we could pool our money to buy blankets for Gospel for Asia's missionaries in cold places. (I'll have a link for that as well.) They gave generously and without hesitation. I was so proud of them. Later Joshua asked me how many people we were giving warm stuff to and I said I didn't know. Probably one family I offered. He said that's good because we didn't give that much money.
Gift ideas from New American Dream
Gifts through Worldvision
Ten Thousand Villages (for beautiful, original gifts...LOVE their necklaces)
UNICEF's gift shop
Gospel for Asia

good news: i'm going to pick up one of my beloved students from korea and we haven't seen each other in 3 years or more

bad news: i'm going to pick up my student at LAX on the eve before thanksgiving (!)

help: i'm bringing a lot of CDs

Simplify the holidays!

LA hook-ups!
Urban Health Ministry Conference 2006 (this weekend)
Brennan Manning at Bel Air Pres (this weekend)
Recovery classes at Eaglerock Christian Assembly (Have issues? Or think you don't? These classes are enlightening and I dare say life changing.)

How Borat Exploited Google

lilly gave birth to 5 puppies but one died :-( at around 3am Sunday morning. thankfully, she didn't give birth on the carpet cuz it is stinky and messy. i wanted to post a pic of her babies but for some reason flickr would't let me. But you can see the pic of lilly by checking out my photo links.

way past my bed time...getting up bright and early with joshua whether i like it or not.

aw man, my sis is going to kill me. while she's gone it fell upon me to be the dog-midwife for one of her dogs. i was supposed to not let Lilly nest on any carpets but now she is holed-up under their bed and is completely ignoring my pleas.

edit: yeah! she came out as i was writing this! i think i'm probably going to see pups by morning and it better be off the carpet!

i'm at june's house playing single mom for the next week. she and andre are on a cruise until wednesday. so i'm taking care of the kids and also hoping to work on my next newsletter for turkey as well as hang out with people here.

but i'm thinking now that i was a bit overly optimistic about what i could get done down here. i had these great expectations for everything i'd get done for turkey when i came down. now i'm thinking it's not going to happen.

so far it's been totally exhausting having the sole responsibility for the kids. it's fun but every night i'm ready for bed by 8:30.

I'm in SD for the next 8-ish days

1000 Wells Project (clicky the linky-poo)

* Did you know that millions of Africans lack access to clean water?

* Did you know that people living with HIV/AIDS are dependent on clean water to survive?

* Did you know that $1 provides one year of clean water for an African?

I'm of the persuasion that we should all do something to help the situation in Africa. Despite the controversy or who's at fault, I think we should all find an organization that we can get behind and support work in Africa particularly when it comes to the AIDS issue.

This brings me to a movement God is doing in my heart around giving. I don't know that I can totally put into words right now. But God has been expanding my heart and pushing the boundaries of my faith in this.

One thing I feel He's begun to put on my heart is to give money when crisis comes up in the world like the issue in Lebanon, or a hurricane. Sometimes that can be hard for me because I feel like it's such a small amount that it won't matter or I'd rather give to something I'll continue with. But I'm beginning to feel it's a habit I want to develop and perhaps in many ways it's more about my heart than the impact the money itself will have.

Even though my heart is for the Muslim areas of the world, like I said in a way I believe we should all have a heart for Africa. The AIDS crisis is so dire that we should all do what we can.

My ideas have been all over the place in this entry....but it's my blog so I don't have to my sense! :-O

and Happy Halloween...

I was wondering how the Kazakhs were feeling about the movie "Borat"...

note to self: i really need to remember that i live near fuller which means i can be a wanna-be student and go to a lot of the cool events they have going on.

darn, i missed lauren winner author of "real se.x: the naked truth about chastity" and "girl meets God". she was speaking tonight...that would have been interesting. but i can still catch the first lady of Nigeria on Nov. 4th. hehe

anywho, just got back from portland as i mentioned in my last post. i just unpacked this evening. it was a pretty absorbing time in portland, i was quickly assimilated into the groove of living there. everytime i go back, i'm struck by the number of close friends i have in one city and the depth of connections i have there.

i was reflecting on why this is and i came up with a couple preliminary thoughts. one being that post-multnomah people are some of the most real people there are. i have dabbled in american evangelicalism all across this nation and honestly post-multnomah-ites stand out in this regard.

these are the kind of people that tend to skip trying to impress you with their credentials/accomplishments, by-pass idle chit-chat and pretty much dive into the stuff of life from the get-go.

right away people i wasn't even that close to in college were telling me about their struggles and triumphs over the last couple years. Despite my criticisms of multnomah and portland culture, this characteristic of post-multnomahites and portland in general is very admirable.

bed time...maybe more on that later.

hey ya'll....I'm in Portland, OR. Just in case you're wondering where I've disappeared to. I'll be back Wednesday...more then.

so exciting.....

see what Christians are doing in this area...

Turkish Writer Wins Nobel Prize in Literature

Sounds like an interesting interview with Moby (I haven't listened to all of it yet)

wow, scary!

Ps. 131: 2 (NIV)-But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.
Ps. 131: 2 (The Message)-I've cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother's arms, my soul is a baby content.
Ps. 131:2 (Amplified Bible)-Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with his mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me [ceased from fretting]

BSB-I want it that way

It's time for a repost. I can still watch this video again and again. There's something so hilarious about it. I think it's also refreshing to see these guys be totally free and silly. Reminds me of the good old days...

So I'm listening to the audio book of "Wild at Heart" in my car right now. Over the years I've heard men speak very highly of this book and some have even claimed that if a girl wants to understand a man she should read this book. However, I've also gotten the vague impression that there has been a backlash reaction to this book as well.

I've been looking for a reason to waste my time making a fun survey and here the occasion has arisen. Sorry this survey is for men only but like I can control who votes anyway. But for those not familiar with the main thesis of the book, here's my humble attempt at it.
All men long to have:
a battle to win
an adventure to live
and a damsel to rescue

And according to John Eldredge these are pretty universal truths about the heart of a man. So I'm curious what you men out there think...

Is John Eldredge's book "Wild at Heart" right on or out in left field? Take the survey...

Goodness. I don't know what's gotten into me. Usually whenever I'm in my room, I become a workaholic. There's always something that needs to be done-right? But I've just been lounging around in my room all day watching good movies and reading devotional books just for pleasure.

I love Rich Mullins. I was thinking-him and Amy Carmichael are two of the most influential people in my life (not counting those people I've actually known).

I'm revisiting, An Arrow Pointing to Heaven, a "devotional biography" of Rich Mullins life. I was touched anew by both his love of God and his frailty.

"If my life is motivated by my ambition to leave a legacy, what I'll probably leave as a legacy is ambition. But if my life is motivated by the power of the Spirit in me-if I live with the awareness of the indwelling Christ, if I allow His presence to guide my motives, those sorts of things. That's the only time I think we really leave a great legacy."
-Rich Mullins

I finally had the pleasure of watching, "Motorcycle Diaries". A beautiful movie-I found Gael to be an arresting and singularly emotive actor. And I also thought Rodrigo gave a powerful performance.

After the move, I briefly read an overview on the life of "Che". Some criticized, some praised. The usual. Apparently, many in the Cuban exile community criticize him for being "personally responsible" for torturing dissidents of the revolution in Cuba.

Whatever the case is, it got me thinking about how in my meager, humble estimation of history it's always the same story. Well-meaning people, well-meaning ideologies often become the monster they originally were fighting against.

The line between "the right" and "the wrong", "the good" and "the bad" often becomes fuzzy. Unfortunately, the church is no exception to this. Catholics, Protestants, Atheists, Communists -humanity can't cloak its true face with any ideology or self-righteousness but through out the cycles of history continues to prove that we as a race need a savior from ourselves and the restoration of our most fundamental nature.

it's about time, baby!

for the first time since i've been LA, it's rained. normally by this time in the morning, it's in the 8o's. But right now it's a delicious 63 degrees. the grayness and perpetual misting brings a quiet sanctity to the morning. i love mornings like this. i don't want the calm quietness to break with the business of the day.

prayer thoughts~
God: I'm speaking to you when you wake up and stumble to the bathroom with your eyes half closed, I'm speaking to you through out the day, I'm there, I'm with you. but you often can't/don't hear me because how often is your mind really silent and your spirit still. your mind is humming with your world, your self.

those words caught my attention and for a moment i really understood those words of a lover that doesn't feel listened to, that feels their beloved is not really present with them. it's painful when you're sharing with someone and you feel your words are not being absorbed on their own merit but are only received as reflections of the listener's thoughts.

it's been a while since i've really focused on quieting my spirit before the face of God. But it's really so simple-isn't it. Be quiet and for one moment don't think of yourself and what you have to say but point your ears upwards and wait. Incredibly simple and almost basic etiquette for any relationship but amazingly easy to overlook in my relationship with God.

Lord, I'm sorry. I'm present with You. I'm here with You, too.

Welcome to Saudi Arabia (otherwise known as Pasadena). Yes, it’s been 100 degrees the last 3 days. Yeah and I feel like an air-conditioning refugee. There’s no air-conditioning in my building and usually it’s not that big of a deal. But when the weather is like this it is truly unbearable. I actually get nauseous if I stay in my room during the day.

Lord, please make it stop.

So after work I pick up my stuff in my room as quickly as I can and then take off for somewhere where I can camp out in a/c. I feel like I’m snowed in except I’m “heated” in.

It’s global warming I tell you!

I’m going to be running in the Long Beach half-marathon in October with a bunch of people from Mosaic. We’re doing it in conjunction with Worldvision to raise money for AIDS victims in Ethiopia. I’ll be posting more info on that later.

I haven’t been in the habit of running since I experienced grad school and Vermont winters. So I’m trying to jog at least 5 days a week (in the early morning, of course) so I don’t damage something when I run 13 miles.

Blogging is my Therapy

I miss blogging like I mean it. Blogging used to really help me sort out my thoughts. It was a place where I could be irrational, raw, ungaurded. I think it had to do a lot with how I started blogging in the first place. Long, long ago on a blog planet far, far away the only people that read my blog were my most intimate friends who could read between the lines and knew me first and foremost. My blog was a secondary source.

But these days I often get blog constipation and find myself worrying about what people would think if I wrote what I really wanted to write. I would venture to guess that the majority of the people that read my site don't even know me apart from the blog world. So I've just decided that I'm going to attempt to regain my first love and throw off my blog anxieties! *uhemm*

Okay, I'm off. I'm heading out to a training in Seattle with the organization I'm going to Turkey with.

Prayers appreciated and hopefully I'll give you an update when I'm back (one week from now).

blog drought
i would love to write more but i just haven't had the space or internet time i need to really get into things the way i'd like. i have faith this will change soon when a couple key things fall into place.
1) get a new laptop
2) finish the bulk of my support-raising stuff

as of now, all my computer time is used working on the latter and then by the time i want to do some serious reflecting I'm out of energy and out of time at the local library.

but how bout some highlights?
*i've been watching the Anne of Green Gables movie series. haven't watched these jewels since before puberty. i can't believe how much they've been making me cry. i just cry straight through them. i think part of it is their nostalgic value but i also think i relate a lot to Anne.
*nannying like a ninny (translation: i often work 9 hours a day. can you say "i love baby einstein!")
*learning from Him about holding loosely to material things and holding tightly to Him (ie-missing laptop)
*August is here...already!
*connecting and preparing...ya know...

please pray for the return of my laptop! more details later...

to Him who is able to do more than we can ask or imagine!

Very excited about:

*Ten Thousand Villages free trade store that recently opened in Pasadena. Today was the opening day and I just happen to stop by. It was great. There was a family playing African music and they actually happened to be Christian. When I walked in they were singing, "Lord, I want to serve you". Apparently, they are the founders of a small non-profit dedicated to issues in Africa.

Check it out! It's on Lake across from Borders.

*The Pasadena House of Prayer! So exciting... They have corporate prayer from 8pm to 10pm weekly (except Thursday, Sat and Sun.) and anybody can just stop by. Lovin it. It's very close to the Lake and Washington Blvd. intersection. And you can also make an appointment to have a couple people pray over you for an hour.

*Super quote of the month, maybe even super quote of the year!

suburban post-modernist

Calvin and Hobbes seriously makes me laugh everyday (I read a comic strip a day)

You know you need that in this crazy world....

i'm back from catalina! what a fun little island! pics to come....

Holy smokes! Happy 5th of July...

I awoke in the middle of the night with a strange noncommittal cough and while stumbling around my room looking for some water I noticed an unusual fog outside my window. Later at breakfast I overheard someone say the low mist wasn't fog but left over smoke from all the fireworks.

You see I live at the foot of the San Gabriel mountains and all the smog, smoke, whatever gets stuck here in the foothills. Lovely. But despite this, so far I really like living in Pasadena.

Anyway, what I was really going to say was does anybody (who lives in LA) have a sleeping bag and/or sleeping mat I could borrow? I'm going camping with my sister from July 10th to the 13th, so it would be great if I could borrow that stuff before then.

check out kimyung's new blossoming business online!

http://www.originaletees.com/

zee old school homies at TM

here they are. dear friends i hadn't seen for almost ten years. notice that they've each grown a posse during the interim between our meetings.

aren't they beautiful...

moriah and elvis

elvis and i in nashville

elvis, mo and i had a great time in nashville. it was amazing to be in nashville with mo. first of all, mo is a great musician and is in-the-know when in comes to the blue grass scene in nashville.

and most importantly it was fun and meaningful to reunite after not seeing each other for ten years!! i still can't believe that it had been that long.

me and momma

yes, my cross country trip was more than just endless desert. i saw many wonderful people. this is sandy's baby shower in b-more.

i was able to see a lot of the people i affectionately call my "wedding friends" at sandy's shower. these are gals and guys that i met at sandy's wedding. i've uniquely bonded with these people (i think it's mutual :-) so it was fun to see them again.

i also stayed with my dear friend al in dallas. it's always fun to hang with her fam (silly us-we didn't take any pics!).

June graduates!

congrats to my sister who graduated with her MA in marriage and family therapy this month.

desert danger zone

this is the rest area that i thankfully stopped to check my tires at before i entered hours of uninhabited desert. i had two flats and waited for hours in my car for AAA. they never came and eventually the sheriff helped me get to a hotel. the nearest town was wicket.

i became fascinated with these tiny desert highway towns that scrape out most of their living by servicing travelers passing through. i would look around at what seemed like a couple deserted dried out buildings and wonder why people even stay there.

when i chatted with the guys that were changing my tires, i felt at times that we could barely understand each other. i couldn't understand their mumbled country dialect and they probably couldn't understand my mumbley city dialect. i felt more like a rich city girl at that time than i ever have in the States. i wanted them to know that i wasn't that type but i suppose to them i was no matter what i thought otherwise.

a week after i got home from my trip cross country, i watched the animated film "cars" with my sis's fam. it was like watching an animated expression of the adventure i had just been through and it actually touched on many of the issues i had been reflecting on regarding "progress" and rural communities.

edit: the title of this post doesn't mean anything. it's just the silly title i gave this pic and i accidentally let it carry through to blogger.

oil aliens

i was strangely mesmerized by my slowly teetering oil sucking companions that were along my road side for hours in west texas.

random freak storms in the desert

this was also somewhere in the desert of west texas or arizona. it was super hot so the random rain showers were a surprise.

welcome to nowhere

driving through the desert of west texas or maybe it was arizona at that point. notice the "desert trees". it was my first time seeing cactus like that. i felt like i was in a road runner cartoon. :-)

I'm in Tennessee now. It was a bit of a culture shock when I went into a gas station on the way here and everybody was yes, mam-ing me and calling me honey with a slow southern drawl. I honestly felt like I was in a movie.

Well, I'm off to explore Nashville with my friend that knows all the blue-grass music spots.

Hey, ya' all...

That's right-I'm finished and once again I'm packing up. I'm getting ready to drive out to B-more for Sandy's baby shower this Saturday. Tomorrow is my last day in Brattleboro, VT. It's likely I won't be back for a good couple years. (I've got to come back eventually to present my research.)

There's so much I want to say and so many emotions, thoughts bubbling around. But I guess to summarize it all I could say I'm walking away broken, you could even call it a bit shaken. But in a good victorious way. Because I've learned a little more about dying to me and instead living in Him.

I'm thankful.

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.
2 Cor. 4: 5-11

the cutest pic!

the cutest pic! .

jewliet a couple years ago...isn't this the best pic! june gets all the credit for this picture...

two more days of SIT life. can you believe that? i can't. wish i could contemplate it for hours but instead I'm trying to write a paper on the Turkish financial crisis. what was i thinking?

i'm visualizing finishing this paper...yes, I see it in my mind's eye...it is oh so easy. ommmmmm.....

and this book's title made me snigger..... (is that a word? :-)

A Generous Orthodoxy: Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN

Yup. It's time. I'm in the process of finishing my last paper and I'm wondering if I'm going to pull it off. Why is the last one always the hardest? It's like I'm just not taking it seriously enough...I need to get panicked so I'll actually get my butt in gear. Did I mention this is due Friday?!

Next week is my last week of classes. I can't believe it. Then I'm "on the road again" and this time literally because I'm driving cross country with someone else's car. That's an interesting story. Maybe I'll get to sharing that sometime but basically the Lord hooked me up.

I'm going to be stopping by Dallas and yee-ha, seeing some friends I haven't seen in a long time. And then I'm SD bound and plan to spend most of my summer in Pasadena. Yo!

Help stop human trafficking! As many of you know every May 3rd is my own personal "stop human trafficking day" This annual observance started on May 3rd a couple years ago as result of a powerful documentary I saw on that day.

So say a prayer with me today for the thousands trapped in this industry. And if you don't know much about the issues check out these links...

http://www.catwinternational.org/

http://www.amnestyusa.org/stopviolence/trafficking/

"mainly, i think that the rise in gas prices is important because it is the only way to bring fundamental change to a culture which thrives on consumption without responsibility. global warming and air quality are issues that are already threatening the health of our species; but equally threatening is our population's cultural infatuation with a consumer lifestyle. this is what drives reactionary politics which retard long-term perspective; this is what motivates exploitation of the third world, global inequities in health and wealth, and ultimately the prejudices which justify social hierarchies and immoral wars.

the rise in gas prices might help to encourage community where previously people were at liberty to operate as individuals. it will certainly spur technological innovation which will protect the environment. and at the very least, it should force us to reconsider how carelessly we consume our world's most valuable natural resource."

can you say, "WORD!"

Sabbath economics?

The interesting thing about knowledge is that it changes you...and once you know enough you start feeling like you can't go back..even if you want to.

This Ecological Footprint Quiz estimates how much productive land and water you need to support what you use and what you discard. After answering 15 easy questions you'll be able to compare your Ecological Footprint to what other people use and to what is available on this planet.

Eureka!

I LOVE this person whoever they are!! hehe! They pretty much did the bulk of my work for my up-coming training called, "Christians and Sustainable Living"

Oh man, I'm so glad I found this link! This is really going to help....

"The Center for a New American Dream is dedicated to reducing resource consumption and improving the quality of life in North America."

http://www.newdream.org/


Uh-huh....that's what I'm talking about.

Hubba mumma...getting busy. Four more weeks and the birds are singing, the flowers bursting forth. And I'm even beginning to think of the things I'm going to miss about little ole Brattleboro, VT.

Okay, news about where I'm going next soon to come......... :-)

Spring is here!

Thank you, Jesus!!

Jeff Sachs sporting his red power tie

Aren't we all down with Montreal....

Montreal

Raaaaarrrrrrr! Montreal

Cheers! to one of the finest hosts in NYC...

Joyce in ny city

My team and I are doing our training tomorrow. I've been preparing some interesting stuff. Part of our training includes the stages of cultural identity formation proposed by Myron Lusting and Jolene Koester.

Unexamined cultural identity-one’s cultural characteristics are taken for granted and consequently there is little interest in exploring cultural issues

Cultural identity search-involves a process of exploration and questioning about one’s culture in order to learn more about it and to understand the implications of membership in that culture

Cultural identity achievement-characterized by a clear, confident acceptance of oneself and an internalization of one’s own cultural identity

Reading stuff like this through out the year has made me think a lot about "white culture", white cultural identity and what the relation is between race and culture...

Scholars have suggested that the cultural identities of many European Americans, in particular, have remained largely unexamined, a consequence of the power, centrality, and privilege that the European American cultural groups has had in the United States.

As Judith Martin, Robert Krizek, Thomas Nakayama, and Lisa Bradford suggest,

"This lack of attention to white identity and self-labeling reflects the historical power held by whites in the United States. That is, whites as the privileged group take their identity as the norm or standard by which other groups are measured, and this identity is therefore invisible, even to the extent that many whites do not consciously think about the profound affect being white has on their everyday lives."

Hmmmmmm.....

Help stop the genocide in Darfur....

"After reflecting on the genocide in Rwanda, the Senator Paul Simon said: "If every member of the House and Senate had received 100 letters from people back home saying we have to do something about Rwanda, when the crisis was first developing, then I think the response would have been different."

That's a powerful statement. It means that we had the power to stop the genocide in Rwanda, but that too many of us chose not to act. It also means that we have the power now to stop the genocide in Darfur if we do choose to act."

one small act...

I'm back in Vermont and it's the final stretch, baby! 6 weeks and counting!

Uh-huh!! Ooooh-yeah! (doing the Napoleon Dynamite dance...)

Why am I always too busy when I come home to visit? I asked this rhetorically as I was leaving my sister's house tonight and she answered matter of fact, "Because it's a short of amount of time." And I was like, "oh yeah." :-)

In other news...
As my sis's fam and I were eating at a restaurant tonight I was struck with how excessive this American life is. We were chit-chatting and I looked down at my salad fit for three. And even though I continued with the conversation, I felt a bit sick about the excessive and often blissfully ignorant lives we live. Stuffing ourselves into obesity while others starve. I almost had to stop eating. I felt fat, bloated...wasteful.

On a less serious note, I'm excited to share my plans with you all in the near future. Things are coming together, so I think I can share more details soon.

good news: i'm in san diego! (yeah!)

bad news: i'm sick. (boo!)

But i'm still having a good time...pictures to come....

This is a good week. I'm even a bit giddy! Today I'm driving down to NYC with a handful of other SIT students to attend the Sustainable Development conference being put on by Columbia. I'll be back from that Wednesday and then Friday I'm flying home to San Diego for spring break.

yeah!!!!

And then after I get back from spring break I'll essentially have about a month left of school! Thank you, Jesus! That is such a sweet thought (beaming smile)! I still have a ton of work to do in that last month but it's still a sweet thought nonetheless (still beaming)!

And it's going to be interesting to go this conference where the school of thought about development is quite different. It's going to be healthy for us to hear perspectives that would make some of our teachers either faint or howl.

I was listening to a speech Jeffrey Sachs was giving on the village project he's involved in and certain things he said were textbook examples of what many of my teachers think is wrong with main stream views on development.

I had the full on angry SIT commentary running in the back of mind as I was listening to the speech as if one of my theory classes was in my brain and I could hear their gasps of unbelief and disapproval. I almost cried out, "Watch out, Jeff, for that rotten tomato!" but then realized he was safe in my computer. :-)

Ever wonder what the heck is Joyce getting her MA in anyway? What's that woman talking about?

What is Sustainable Development? (this will give you a working definition because you know how everything is debatable and controversial in academia-specially in this field)

Sustainable development is a process of developing (land, cities, business, communities, etc) that "meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs" according to the Brundtland Report, a 1987 report from the United Nations.

Take a Sustainable Development quiz...you know you know whaz up (after being informed on my blog-right? uh...yeah)!

Listen to an interview with good old Jeffrey Sachs, author of "The End of Poverty", on the current state of Sustainable Development.

thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you silence

thank you, jesus, for all i have right now

Ever wonder what you, little ole YOU, can do in the fight against poverty or AIDS? Feel powerless and insignificant when it comes to these issues?

Hey, you can play your part little by little as a citizen. For example, sending emails or calling your senator about these issues. You can be informed about these issues and what to call about by getting on this list.

Have you ever called your senator? It's easier than you think.

What is The ONE Campaign?
ONE is a new effort by Americans to rally Americans - ONE by ONE - to fight the emergency of global AIDS and extreme poverty. The ONE Campaign is engaging Americans through a diverse coalition of faith-based and anti-poverty organizers to show the steps people can take, ONE by ONE, to fight global AIDS and poverty.

edit: hehe... This kind of sounds like a 6th grade civics assignment or something. But I'm serious, people! :-)

News, news but sorry no booze....

Well, I just wanted to let you guys know that I might be doing my internship overseas, so that you won't be too surprised if it works out. For quite a while, I changed my mind everyday about the direction I wanted to go after my on-campus phase here was finished (May 19th-ish!). Mostly, I just wasn't sure the direction God wanted me to go in. I've known for quite a long time that I was eventually heading overseas as a long term Christian worker. I've wanted to go into full time work overseas for a while but feel the Lord had been telling me to wait.

A couple months ago I was debating if I should work with a secular nonprofit org or a Christian nonprofit org. But now it seems I've gotten a peace about moving towards what I really want to do.

Hmmm...this is all very cryptic. I guess that's because things are still in the works. But all that babbling was to say please pray for me as I seek God's will in all of this. I so easily try to take the reigns of my own life and I need your prayers and advice as I seek Him.

And the second bit of news is that I'm going to Montreal with some friends this weekend! (It's just a three hour drive...so we're seizing the day. ooh-la-la!)