welcome to nowhere

driving through the desert of west texas or maybe it was arizona at that point. notice the "desert trees". it was my first time seeing cactus like that. i felt like i was in a road runner cartoon. :-)

I'm in Tennessee now. It was a bit of a culture shock when I went into a gas station on the way here and everybody was yes, mam-ing me and calling me honey with a slow southern drawl. I honestly felt like I was in a movie.

Well, I'm off to explore Nashville with my friend that knows all the blue-grass music spots.

Hey, ya' all...

That's right-I'm finished and once again I'm packing up. I'm getting ready to drive out to B-more for Sandy's baby shower this Saturday. Tomorrow is my last day in Brattleboro, VT. It's likely I won't be back for a good couple years. (I've got to come back eventually to present my research.)

There's so much I want to say and so many emotions, thoughts bubbling around. But I guess to summarize it all I could say I'm walking away broken, you could even call it a bit shaken. But in a good victorious way. Because I've learned a little more about dying to me and instead living in Him.

I'm thankful.

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.
2 Cor. 4: 5-11

the cutest pic!

the cutest pic! .

jewliet a couple years ago...isn't this the best pic! june gets all the credit for this picture...

two more days of SIT life. can you believe that? i can't. wish i could contemplate it for hours but instead I'm trying to write a paper on the Turkish financial crisis. what was i thinking?

i'm visualizing finishing this paper...yes, I see it in my mind's eye...it is oh so easy. ommmmmm.....

and this book's title made me snigger..... (is that a word? :-)

A Generous Orthodoxy: Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN

Yup. It's time. I'm in the process of finishing my last paper and I'm wondering if I'm going to pull it off. Why is the last one always the hardest? It's like I'm just not taking it seriously enough...I need to get panicked so I'll actually get my butt in gear. Did I mention this is due Friday?!

Next week is my last week of classes. I can't believe it. Then I'm "on the road again" and this time literally because I'm driving cross country with someone else's car. That's an interesting story. Maybe I'll get to sharing that sometime but basically the Lord hooked me up.

I'm going to be stopping by Dallas and yee-ha, seeing some friends I haven't seen in a long time. And then I'm SD bound and plan to spend most of my summer in Pasadena. Yo!

Help stop human trafficking! As many of you know every May 3rd is my own personal "stop human trafficking day" This annual observance started on May 3rd a couple years ago as result of a powerful documentary I saw on that day.

So say a prayer with me today for the thousands trapped in this industry. And if you don't know much about the issues check out these links...

http://www.catwinternational.org/

http://www.amnestyusa.org/stopviolence/trafficking/

"mainly, i think that the rise in gas prices is important because it is the only way to bring fundamental change to a culture which thrives on consumption without responsibility. global warming and air quality are issues that are already threatening the health of our species; but equally threatening is our population's cultural infatuation with a consumer lifestyle. this is what drives reactionary politics which retard long-term perspective; this is what motivates exploitation of the third world, global inequities in health and wealth, and ultimately the prejudices which justify social hierarchies and immoral wars.

the rise in gas prices might help to encourage community where previously people were at liberty to operate as individuals. it will certainly spur technological innovation which will protect the environment. and at the very least, it should force us to reconsider how carelessly we consume our world's most valuable natural resource."

can you say, "WORD!"

Sabbath economics?

The interesting thing about knowledge is that it changes you...and once you know enough you start feeling like you can't go back..even if you want to.

This Ecological Footprint Quiz estimates how much productive land and water you need to support what you use and what you discard. After answering 15 easy questions you'll be able to compare your Ecological Footprint to what other people use and to what is available on this planet.

Eureka!

I LOVE this person whoever they are!! hehe! They pretty much did the bulk of my work for my up-coming training called, "Christians and Sustainable Living"

Oh man, I'm so glad I found this link! This is really going to help....

"The Center for a New American Dream is dedicated to reducing resource consumption and improving the quality of life in North America."

http://www.newdream.org/


Uh-huh....that's what I'm talking about.

Hubba mumma...getting busy. Four more weeks and the birds are singing, the flowers bursting forth. And I'm even beginning to think of the things I'm going to miss about little ole Brattleboro, VT.

Okay, news about where I'm going next soon to come......... :-)

Spring is here!

Thank you, Jesus!!

Jeff Sachs sporting his red power tie

Aren't we all down with Montreal....

Montreal

Raaaaarrrrrrr! Montreal

Cheers! to one of the finest hosts in NYC...

Joyce in ny city

My team and I are doing our training tomorrow. I've been preparing some interesting stuff. Part of our training includes the stages of cultural identity formation proposed by Myron Lusting and Jolene Koester.

Unexamined cultural identity-one’s cultural characteristics are taken for granted and consequently there is little interest in exploring cultural issues

Cultural identity search-involves a process of exploration and questioning about one’s culture in order to learn more about it and to understand the implications of membership in that culture

Cultural identity achievement-characterized by a clear, confident acceptance of oneself and an internalization of one’s own cultural identity

Reading stuff like this through out the year has made me think a lot about "white culture", white cultural identity and what the relation is between race and culture...

Scholars have suggested that the cultural identities of many European Americans, in particular, have remained largely unexamined, a consequence of the power, centrality, and privilege that the European American cultural groups has had in the United States.

As Judith Martin, Robert Krizek, Thomas Nakayama, and Lisa Bradford suggest,

"This lack of attention to white identity and self-labeling reflects the historical power held by whites in the United States. That is, whites as the privileged group take their identity as the norm or standard by which other groups are measured, and this identity is therefore invisible, even to the extent that many whites do not consciously think about the profound affect being white has on their everyday lives."

Hmmmmmm.....

Help stop the genocide in Darfur....

"After reflecting on the genocide in Rwanda, the Senator Paul Simon said: "If every member of the House and Senate had received 100 letters from people back home saying we have to do something about Rwanda, when the crisis was first developing, then I think the response would have been different."

That's a powerful statement. It means that we had the power to stop the genocide in Rwanda, but that too many of us chose not to act. It also means that we have the power now to stop the genocide in Darfur if we do choose to act."

one small act...

I'm back in Vermont and it's the final stretch, baby! 6 weeks and counting!

Uh-huh!! Ooooh-yeah! (doing the Napoleon Dynamite dance...)

Why am I always too busy when I come home to visit? I asked this rhetorically as I was leaving my sister's house tonight and she answered matter of fact, "Because it's a short of amount of time." And I was like, "oh yeah." :-)

In other news...
As my sis's fam and I were eating at a restaurant tonight I was struck with how excessive this American life is. We were chit-chatting and I looked down at my salad fit for three. And even though I continued with the conversation, I felt a bit sick about the excessive and often blissfully ignorant lives we live. Stuffing ourselves into obesity while others starve. I almost had to stop eating. I felt fat, bloated...wasteful.

On a less serious note, I'm excited to share my plans with you all in the near future. Things are coming together, so I think I can share more details soon.

good news: i'm in san diego! (yeah!)

bad news: i'm sick. (boo!)

But i'm still having a good time...pictures to come....

This is a good week. I'm even a bit giddy! Today I'm driving down to NYC with a handful of other SIT students to attend the Sustainable Development conference being put on by Columbia. I'll be back from that Wednesday and then Friday I'm flying home to San Diego for spring break.

yeah!!!!

And then after I get back from spring break I'll essentially have about a month left of school! Thank you, Jesus! That is such a sweet thought (beaming smile)! I still have a ton of work to do in that last month but it's still a sweet thought nonetheless (still beaming)!

And it's going to be interesting to go this conference where the school of thought about development is quite different. It's going to be healthy for us to hear perspectives that would make some of our teachers either faint or howl.

I was listening to a speech Jeffrey Sachs was giving on the village project he's involved in and certain things he said were textbook examples of what many of my teachers think is wrong with main stream views on development.

I had the full on angry SIT commentary running in the back of mind as I was listening to the speech as if one of my theory classes was in my brain and I could hear their gasps of unbelief and disapproval. I almost cried out, "Watch out, Jeff, for that rotten tomato!" but then realized he was safe in my computer. :-)

Ever wonder what the heck is Joyce getting her MA in anyway? What's that woman talking about?

What is Sustainable Development? (this will give you a working definition because you know how everything is debatable and controversial in academia-specially in this field)

Sustainable development is a process of developing (land, cities, business, communities, etc) that "meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs" according to the Brundtland Report, a 1987 report from the United Nations.

Take a Sustainable Development quiz...you know you know whaz up (after being informed on my blog-right? uh...yeah)!

Listen to an interview with good old Jeffrey Sachs, author of "The End of Poverty", on the current state of Sustainable Development.

thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you silence

thank you, jesus, for all i have right now

Ever wonder what you, little ole YOU, can do in the fight against poverty or AIDS? Feel powerless and insignificant when it comes to these issues?

Hey, you can play your part little by little as a citizen. For example, sending emails or calling your senator about these issues. You can be informed about these issues and what to call about by getting on this list.

Have you ever called your senator? It's easier than you think.

What is The ONE Campaign?
ONE is a new effort by Americans to rally Americans - ONE by ONE - to fight the emergency of global AIDS and extreme poverty. The ONE Campaign is engaging Americans through a diverse coalition of faith-based and anti-poverty organizers to show the steps people can take, ONE by ONE, to fight global AIDS and poverty.

edit: hehe... This kind of sounds like a 6th grade civics assignment or something. But I'm serious, people! :-)

News, news but sorry no booze....

Well, I just wanted to let you guys know that I might be doing my internship overseas, so that you won't be too surprised if it works out. For quite a while, I changed my mind everyday about the direction I wanted to go after my on-campus phase here was finished (May 19th-ish!). Mostly, I just wasn't sure the direction God wanted me to go in. I've known for quite a long time that I was eventually heading overseas as a long term Christian worker. I've wanted to go into full time work overseas for a while but feel the Lord had been telling me to wait.

A couple months ago I was debating if I should work with a secular nonprofit org or a Christian nonprofit org. But now it seems I've gotten a peace about moving towards what I really want to do.

Hmmm...this is all very cryptic. I guess that's because things are still in the works. But all that babbling was to say please pray for me as I seek God's will in all of this. I so easily try to take the reigns of my own life and I need your prayers and advice as I seek Him.

And the second bit of news is that I'm going to Montreal with some friends this weekend! (It's just a three hour drive...so we're seizing the day. ooh-la-la!)

This has been one hard year but even in the midst of my worrying and anxiety hope often still wells up in my heart. In my wrestling with self-absorption, self-pity and inertia, the certainty that I'm learning something, that I'm being trained shines quite beautifully in my mind. It's this idea that has really served as a turning point for me.

Life is challenging. Ministry that transforms people also transforms you in the process and as we've seen in many cheesy sci-fi movies transformation can be painful. When I've chosen to see this year with its various difficult circumstances through the lens of training, everything seems clearer. I feel tougher and more resilient.

I've cried a lot but I've also prayed my brains out. I've fought spiritually and won but also lost. But that is what the spiritual life is really about anyway. I've often felt like a failure this year but ironically these pressures have produced a brokenness that has reaped more earnest and consistent prayer than I've prayed in a long time. And then there's the hope that I'm walking out into new territory. When something dies in you, even though it's painful there is the excitement of the resurrection.

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24

This chick is sooo funny... How she personifies her animals reminds me of Ro. It just seems like a very Ro-ish thing to do.

DC baby! In front of Washington monument....

more random thoughts..

I think I'm getting sick. Even at 7:30pm I seriously considered going to bed because I was so tired.

It seems I often unwittingly live in places with activist/socialist leanings. Even though I don't see myself as fitting that mold entirely at all, it seems that I must be one deep down as I always end up in areas like that. (ex. Portland, Vermont)

I was reading some of my poems online tonight and realized that I haven't posted any since 2004. It's not that I haven't written any poems in the last year because I have. It's just that...it seems I've hit a wall with my poetry.

Most of my poetry over the last couple years seems like a broken record to me. It's always the same thing. It's like I'm trying to get past something but instead I just keep repeating the same theme. And for my journal that's okay because that's the way I deal with my raw emotions. But I haven't posted any of it because most of it annoys me. hmmmmm....

Check this movie out....

Weird. Right now blogger isn't showing the comments I made under my pictures. Anyway, the snowmanless house is where I live right now. It's my Vermonter house. :-)

Right now I'm actually staying with Sandy in Baltimore for my break. Trying to do stuff that I don't normally do like email and load pics while she's at work. Her growing bump is SO amazing. Makes me want to have babies right now. hehe

If you look at my "more pics" link you'll see some new pics I've recently uploaded. (sorry no pics of sandy's bump yet)

You know one thing the West coast has down? Clean bathrooms. And something amazing and oh so novel here on the East coast-paper seat covers. Apparently this beautiful invention has not occurred to the East coast because they don't have them in any bathroom (except for maybe the airport)! So the result is lovely pee covered toilets everywhere. Even the nicer places.

Vonderful.

So that's one pleasant surprise whenever I go home to CA-wow, the bathrooms aren't landmines of grossness that I have to navigate with utmost care lest I catch some disease!

This is my Vermont house.

Winter in VT.

Sorry I've fallen off the face of the planet. I just finished Spring 1 at my school which is like a mini semester. So the last couple weeks I was trying to finish papers and projects. Now I'm on break and will be going back for Spring 2 next week. This week I'm going to catch up on emails.

yeah!

you gotta love, Bono!

random thoughts...

Amazed and awed as I realized how far we've really come as women. When my grandfather was born women were still fighting to vote in England. Wyoming was the forerunner giving women voting rights in 1869! I said 1869!

That's really not that long ago when measured in life times. Just a couple generations ago. People my grandmother knew (her grandmother, aunts) lived when women were struggling for the right to vote. It's wild when you think about it. My grandmother's life has contained interactions with people from both that time and our current time period.

Saudi Arabia still doesn't allow women to vote!

I was thinking the other day how bizarre it is that Memoirs of a Geisha has all the actors and actresses speaking in broken English with a supposed Japanese accent. It's weird if you think about it. We're watching a story that is supposedly set in Japan and in reality they would be speaking in Japanese but instead they're speaking in broken English. Like that's supposed to make it more authentic! haha!

Wouldn't it be funny if the tables were turned? A movie about some historical period in the US like the Civil War with "real "American actors speaking broken Japanese! How bizarre that would be. hmmmm....what does that reveal to us about power and language, my fellow space cadets?

I had a sudden sadness surge (S.S.S. according to the american psychological society...okay, I'm just joking about that last part...don't be so gullible!) when I was reading through an article on the nuclear arms race. Particularly when I came to a chart titled "the cold war: navigate through history."

I had been pretty peppy up to that point but after reading through the lists of conflicts categorized into the 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, 1990s and today. I wanted to just lay my head down and squeeze some tears out.

But I just sighed and thought “I just don't get it”. I read every day about revolution, social justice, power to the people and standing up for the marginalized, the oppressed....yadddaaaa, yadddaa!

And I so often want to ask these same people that spout these noble ideas, what or who are we fighting against? Who is the big bad "they" that we so often refer to? Because the same people that yell themselves hoarse don't believe in evil. We are all groovy. Like in "we are the world".

But that's what I don't get.

When I trace the cheery chart of conflicts over the last 50 years, I know the "they" I'm fighting against is not out there somewhere. But is the face staring back at me in the mirror. That "they" is all of us. That's what I want to hear more about, Che. Sorry, buddy but that revolution is not enough. I...we need a deeper, more fundamental revolution.

Thank you, Jesus, for when I don't have technical difficulties because when I do have them it's super annoying! Like right now. Randomly explorer is doing the weirdest stuff.

Anyway, life has been surprisingly busy. Last semester the first 4 weeks of class were low demand-not the case this semester. I'm also starting to feel a bit pressured about applying to internships. There are just too many options! I am feeling somewhat paralyzed by the myriad of directions I could go in. But I'm working on that and just this morning I was reminding myself just to take everything one step at a time.

Which brings me to some hook-ups I need from YOU! Yes, you staring at my lovely blogola. I'm going to be taking a one week citizen advocacy class in DC Feb. 13th through the 17th. Does anybody know anyone in the nonprofit sector that I could chat with about the scene in DC? Church connections, your impressions of the culture of DC, or just info in general is also welcome.

But back on the farm, life is good off campus. I'm LOVING it. It's really making me realize what a cool little town Brattleboro is. My house is a five minute walk away from downtown with all its artsy stores, coffee shops and breweries.

Fun...I am one with the city. ooooommmmm....

I've moved into a classic Vermont house. It's a hundred years old, has a bathtub with clawed feet, squeaky doors with huge key holes and drafty wood floors.

Yes, I'm renting a room from an elderly woman that watched all six of her children grow up in this house and then move out. She lived here with her husband until he passed away twenty years ago. Lots of memories in this house...yup, that's for sure.

So far living off campus is absolutely marvelous but it has only been about three hours since my friends and I hauled all my crap up these stairs. :-)

Dang, even wikipedia has a section on the emerging church. This is also a really funny and enlightening (definitely going to read some of the books listed) critique of emerging churches.

Okay, going to bed. Leaving for Vermont bright and early!

what a sparse blogger i've been since i've been home in the CA. all my entries since the beginning of the break can fit on one page. that's a first.

yeah, it's been really busy. i've hardly been home. it's been more like my gram's house has been "my base" as i've been out hanging out and catching up with people about 85% of the time. it's been good but I would have liked a little more down time. By the time I got back from Portland I had definitely had enough of sleeping at different people's houses. Seriously, maybe I'm a closet introvert.

well, i'm gearing up to go back to Vermont early Sunday morning. i've been really afraid of going back most of the break but now that it's drawing near I'm feeling braver. it's been such a mixed bag at that crazy school. On one hand, i love what i'm learning and i never regret going there but on the hand there are so many things that frustrate and terrify me about being there.

Potential failure, rejection seem to loom around every corner. People are ultraliberal, oversensitive, reactionary and often illogical when it comes to debating issues.

Underneath it all something scarier moves and drifts just below the surface of my consciousness like an indiscernible creature in murky waters. What is it the squinting fishermen ask. It's....me or rather what I fear most about myself. The fears and insecurities that threaten to swallow me, that seem to have a life of their own and without much notice fight to take over my life.

Who has control of my life?

Lord, You do. Please help me....I really don't know if I can do it.....

I'm much better now. It ended up being food poisoning which I 'spose is better than the flu.

I'm in Portland now. Recently got back from Crystal's wedding festivities. Her wedding was beautiful, original and on the fly. She asked me over the phone as I was driving to the church if I could read some scripture during the service. This was fifteen minutes before the service was starting. ;-) Pictures to come….

Okay, need my sleep to prevent people overload syndrome.

Oh man, what am I going to do? I've suddenly come down with this stomach sickness and I'm leaving on a plane for Portland tomorrow. Bad, bad timing. I've been nauseous all day. Then my stomach finally had enough a couple hours ago and ejected everything I've eaten today which is basically nothing.

What am I going to do? If I don't improve, I could be a nightmare to sit with on the plane. :-) I think I'm getting sick again....heading for the bathroom.

Pray for me!

Happy 2006 everyone!!

I don't get it! People keep on telling me that they call my gram's landline and it's busy a lot. Which is highly unlikely being as they never talk on the phone. Hmmm.... So if you call and it's busy-try again.

sorry...

Happy after Christmas and Happy post B-day!

Thanks for all your b-day love! I'm starting my 23rd year of life (ah-hem!) with lots of love.

Anywho, just wanted to let you all know before I jetted over to my oldest old school homie's (alison and her three beautiful offspring) house that "I'm coming up....I want the world to see..." You know that song-right?

Well, I'm coming up to LA around the 30th and probably staying until the 2nd. So give me a holla if you want to hang out.

haha! Finally googlevideo posted my video submission. Hehe....

Here it is...

Enjoy!

Wireless is splendid. I'm waiting at Bradley Airport in Hartford and checking my email for free. It's amazing how quickly technology is developing. A couple years ago this would have been a foreign concept for me. What's going to be next? What will I be taking for granted in the next couples years that would amaze me now?

I've escaped from my life of drudgery and I'm out in the open. Yes, sailing away with gleeeeeee, babeeeee! How's that for alliteration. Oh-jah! Unfortunately, I've had to sail away with some homework still to complete but I'll get it done in the next couple days.

ONE DAY AWAY!! And I can't make myself work. This is getting bad.

Yeah, and I'm wondering what's it all about. Will I ever break out of the chains that bind me? ...my self doubt.

Enough melodramatic proclamations as I listen to cheesy Backstreet Boys music....and the reason I'm listening-you ask. This SOO funny video made by these Chinese students. Man, this brings me to tears. These guys have a future in acting. Can't you see them in Kung Fu Hustle? (which is a really good movie by the way)

Note: Talking about this stuff somehow reminds me of when I was happy and I wasn't trapped in this dungeon of a school. Oh no, I'm being melodramatic again.

Well, so finding this video on Allen's blog also caused me to discover the whole world of googlevideo. Amazing! You can upload your videos for the world to see for free. So finally I can upload some of my videos to my blog. So Ro and Pohang girls I'm sorry but yes, you're going to be stars. :-) hehe

Coming soon....
"Taekwondo Adventures"

yes, cheesy but true......

3 more days, baby!!!! Oh the ecstasy! hehe

If only I could close my eyes and then suddenly be on the plane. But alas I have to keep my eyes open, so I won't trip over an icicle and land face first in the snow. (otherwise you know, I'd maybe try keeping my eyes closed for the next 3 days)

Hardy-har-har-har-har..har, har!!

In other news, it's shaping up to be a busy Christmas break. But thank God, I think it's long enough that I'll still have time to reflect, read and send out resumes.

It's looking like I'm going to be in Portland from the 5th-ish to the 11th-ish of January for my friend, Crystal's wedding. (Congrats, babe!) I'm still waiting on my sis to firm up the dates. She's hopefully going to come with me, so we can also work on some important family stuff while we're up there.

Then I'm going to be in LA sometime between the 19th of December and Jan. 5th. That's still in the works. I think I may go up a couple days before I leave for Portland. Here I am day dreaming about my vacation while I should be working on my paper.

hmmmm... bah-humbug!

oh, whoopsie...I'm going to do that tag thing soon, marg...

I'm on the homestretch, baby!! Oh yeah! Uh-huh! Oh yeah!

Four more days and then I'm taking offffffffffffffffff in a blaze of glory!!!! I'm almost over the giant stress mountain-one more paper and one more presentation. OHHHH yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to get away and reflect on my whole experience here thus far.

And it looks like someone put my blog address on Handong's i2 boards (the university I used to teach at) So "hi" wonderful Handong students!!!!!!!! I miss you!

If you emailed me in the past and I didn't email you back it might be because "hanmail" sometimes doesn't receive "yahoo" emails.

.

.

me in my new winter coat (I'm not talking about my jacket but the 5 new pounds I've gained....keeping me warm...)

and 7 more days and counting! Oh yeah!!!!!! And 7 days of Christmas and my true love gave to me....

9 more days! let me count the ways...

on a different note, it's snowed like crazy here. Everything looks like it's covered with white frosting....pictures are coming soon.

11 more days! Yee-ha!

two more classes and one more week....

two more papers and two presentations....

I hate to be a party pooper but I CAN'T WAIT until I'm out of here. I now have one week left after my class this Friday. Happy day! yeah, yeah! And as of this moment I have exactly 12 days until my plane is taking off.

I'm leaving on a jet plane!!! Can't wait till I'm out of here! la, la! Everybody sing along!

This is my new motto till I'm outta here:

"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks." - Jack Penn

Stolen from http://www.phdcomics.com.com

Read this comic first. For some reason blogger won't let me change the order of my entries right now.

One more week after this one!!! YES! oh yes!! Yeah, yeah!

I've got two more weeks after this week.

I can see the light. I need to get out and clear my head. But the two and half weeks before me seem daunting. I'm dragging my feet. I'm constantly carrying the pressure of what I have left to do but I feel unmotivated to start it.

And right now I'm not doing too well emotionally, so that's not helping my homework motivation.

Do you know who put forth these "7 social sins"?
1. Politics without Principle
2. Wealth without Work
3. Commerce without Morality
4. Pleasure without Conscience
5. Education without Character
6. Science without Humanity
7. Worship without Sacrifice.

Melodie was so kind to share her Thanksgiving and her Greek salad with me.

the best ever gingerbread chai!!

yummmmm

the closer we drove to Vermont the snowier it got...

Ahhhhhhhh!!! Santa-rex!

drama, drama, drama, dali lama...

my school is currently one giant pulsating stressball waiting to explode. Oh man, it's been crazy. practically every turn i take someone's reacting to something.

i was hoping it was calming down but then there was another drama in my theory and practice of sustainable development class today when some of the students from developing countries started sharing some of their frustrations in a not so helpful way. Then the class exploded with arguments (heated debates?) complete with one student walking out during class.

Oh lovely.

The problem is that even though i'm kind of okay and at least my homework load is not that bad at this current moment-stress is contagious. I really wish I was living off campus right now.

I can't wait for Thanksgiving! Get me out of here!

Check out this great website that a friend of mine here put together. After finishing the Peace Corps in Mozambique, he went back and put together a program teaching kids photography skills. The kids' work and more details about the project are on this website.

I've got to finish this paper tonight. ahhhh! I can do it!

It's amazing how music can transport you to another time. Is there anything else that can resurrect the senses so poignantly?

As I was comparing prices of something mundane in the grocery store the other day, I suddenly became still. I tilted my ear towards the words barely audible above the bustle of the store, "dancing in the moonlight, everybody feeling warm and bright, it's such a fine and natural sight..."

I could instantly remember the feel of those days. I was struck with how clearly I could see that narrow cobblestone street, hear the sounds of the Flamenco teacher yelling in Spanish and the feverish taps of the dancers in the studio next to my apartment.

The regret, excitement and seduction of that time in Spain was flowing into my ears. Flashes of my friends and I dancing next to the river that runs through Seville. The air-warm and moist. Shimmering, gold light reflecting off the water. The open-air dirt dance floor wide open as 1am was still too early to dance. This song playing as I dance alone with a drink in my hand, my friends laughing.

Then I'm walking down that narrow alley thinking about him. I'm confused. I'm distracted... And this song whiffs through an open window serving as a short soundtrack as I walk anxious, giddy and then turn the corner.

It's remarkable how a song can instantly bring you back. But then you shake off the moment and walk to the check out.

What an inspiring list.... http://www.selftaughtgirl.com/lifelist.html

I like #8, 9 and 10 but my fav is #17...

In the library working on a paper comparing Dependency theory and Modernization theory's different perspectives on development. Very interesting. Here's a snippet of each to give you an idea of the issues:

Dependency theory is the body of social science theories by various intellectuals, both from the Third World and the First World, that create a worldview which suggests that the wealthy nations of the world need a peripheral group of poorer states in order to remain wealthy.

Modernization theory is a socio-economic theory, sometimes known as (or as being encompassed within) development theory, which highlights the positive role played by the developed world in modernizing and facilitating sustainable development in underdeveloped nations, often contrasted with dependency theory. It is also a part of the wider theme of theories in sociology, known as the sociocultural evolution.

Anyway, I'm flying home Dec. 16th for Christmas break. Yeah!!!! I can't wait to see Jewliet and Joshua not to mention a couple other people, too. :-) I also need to get away from this place. I'm learning a lot but it often feels really claustrophobic.

I ended up deciding to go to a local friend's place for thanksgiving instead of coming home. I just thought it was too short of a time and that's also a busy time of the semester. All my papers and projects are due in the two weeks after Thanksgiving.

andy doing a great impression of a woman for the costume contest and yeah, he was the winner

a little halloween craziness...

one wrong exit and you end up here in the Bronx... i love being lost NYC...

B-more's interesting architecture

oh yeah...the fresh out the shower costume....clever and cheap. and actually in this case true. (the party was in the building I live in)

local gang-bangers in B-more..:-)

an intriguing graveyard in baltimore

the journey is the destination... (aka: oh so lost in B-more)

my room is the second from the right

the road leading up to my campus

the end of fall...

i'm dreaming of a white halloween...it slushed (kind of snowed) a couple days ago....the word on the street is that it's going to start snowing really early this year.

.

I'm so tempted to go to San Diego for Thanksgiving. Should I, should I, oh should I??? Money, homework, time? hmmm.... I have to decide soon.

I would maybe fly into LA because in my price searches so far that would be almost a hundred dollars less. Then maybe I could take the train down after hanging out with some LAer friends...hmmmmmm....I'm leaning towards no but so tempting....

I'm in Baltimore right now. Yes oh yes. Just finished a jog. It was weird. These 13 year old boys were flirting/making fun of me as I was jogging. They were pretending to jog and saying, "Hey lady, come jog with us." And saying other random stuff. Something was weird about that to me. I was like, "Don't they know how old I am?" They should see me as their mom or something.

I needed a break from SIT so I decided to come down to Baltimore for the weekend to visit Sandy. It's been refreshing to hang out with a close friend. Scott thought it was really bizarre that we pretty much studied the whole time. We spent hours at coffee shops this weekend alternating between deep talks and studying. It was perfect because we both had a lot of work to do but also needed to be refreshed.

I was supposed to leave this morning to drive back to Vermont but I got totally lost on the way to the highway. I know it sounds ridiculous but Baltimore is a really confusing city. So it got way too late in the day to drive that many hours in my super old car (that I borrowed from a friend). So I'm leaving early tomorrow morning. haha

Just to give you an update: Joshua is much better now and has been out of the hospital since the 14th. So thanks for your prayers.

Girls and Boys, Men and Women....

Celebrate "Love Your Body" day!!!

Oct. 19th!!!

(It's just coincidence that I went off on these very issues yesterday. Seriously, today is love your bod day.)

http://loveyourbody.nowfoundation.org/

taken from http://www.about-face.org/yv/forum/index.shtml

Jean Kilborne is my new hero! Just got back from one of her lectures/media presentations at a college near my school. wow

Fascinating/disturbing analysis of the depiction of women in advertising. Really got me on my soapbox on the drive home.

This is one of those subjects I've got to blog about. I'm serious this time. No more empty promises. But meanwhile I've gotta go do some reading.... :-)

For info on the issues check out, "About Face" or Jean's resource list.

"About Face promotes positive self-esteem in girls and women of all ages, sizes, races and backgrounds through a spirited approach to media education, outreach and activism."

I should note that I don't necessarily agree with how they do everything but I thought the "make changes" link was helpful.

so now...

yipeeeee, it stopped raining...